Willful and Defiant Child

Eversince Alycia attended pre-school, she has started to be really agressive, stubborn and uncontrollable. To begin with, she's already a very willful child. She speaks her own mind and is very headstrong. Lately, she's started to answer back when I scold her and is always defying my instructions. If she wants something, she must have it instantly - not later, otherwise she will throw herself into a fits of rage. It's frightening to see how a girl who's barely 4 yo behaving like a teenager - rebelling and arguing with her mother all the time. I just can't believe that such a pretty and cute toddler is so full of rage when her wimps and fancies are not met immediately. Partly, she's spoilt by her daddy and he is beginning to realize it.

Last night I had promised to bring the gals out to the park to blow bubbles. This morning I told the gals that I would only bring them to the park after they read a story book. Sherilyn obediently read not one but 4 Dr Seuss books but when I asked Alycia to read, she refused. "No, I only want to play bubbles. I don't want to read" and there she went, ranting and raving for almost half an hour. She was screaming and wailing and started to say nasty words like "you're not a good mummy, you go away, stop it, stupid mummy". No amount of coaxing, sweet talking, bribe or threats worked and finally, I had to use the whip. I told her that crying and behaving badly won't get her anything and tried to reason out with her but she wouldn't budge. After the whip, she finally came to her senses and stopped crying. She then came to me as I was reading to Sherilyn and began to listen as I read to Sherilyn. When I asked her to read the book, she began to read in a muffled voice. After reading, I finally took the gals out to the park to play.

When we came back, I told hubby what had happened. He was furious and asked Alycia to apologize to me. As stubborn as she is, she would not say sorry and began to cry again. Daddy then gave her a good lecture and some light whipping. Still, she didn't want to apologize and just bawled uncontrollably. We tried to explain to her that what she did and said were very wrong and rude. I asked her if she's going to say those nasty things to me again and she nodded her head and said "yes!" That's how stubborn and defiant she can get. Probably the whip wasn't painful at all. That infuriated daddy even more and he gave her another light whip on the buttock. More bawling followed and after a while, still sobbing and shaking, Alycia ran to me and tried to hug me. I asked her again if she's going to say those nasty things to me again and AGAIN she said "yes!" Unbelievable! Daddy gave out another light whip and that was followed by more bawling. Again she ran to me to hug me and I asked her the same question "are you going to say those things to mummy again?" and this time she said "no". When I asked her to apologize, finally the golden word "sorry" poured out slowly and softly from her quivering mouth. I then gave her a hug, wiped her smutty face and she continued to have breakfast. I really do not like the idea of using the cane all the time but with my 2 girls, the cane seem to have some 'positive' effects in disciplining them. I've tried the more humane, cultured method of reasoning but sadly that just didn't work for my gals, especially Alycia. I wish I had a better and more effective way of disciplining my gals.