Paid in Full: A Promise Kept and a Lesson in Faith

Remember that sinking feeling? The one I wrote about two weeks ago, when an Indonesian construction worker accidentally reversed his pickup truck into the bumper of my 2-month old car? Well, I’m writing today with a much, much lighter heart and a huge smile on my face.

He paid me. In full.

This past Sunday, the man who caused the damage kept his word. The entire repair cost, which was  RM775, was paid to me in cash. The relief and gratitude I feel are immense.  He left the cash with his wife at the fruit stall that I frequent regularly. His wife manages the fruit stall.

In the two weeks since the accident, it’s easy for the mind to wander to worst-case scenarios. Would he disappear? Would he negotiate the cost down? But throughout our communication, he said he would pay, and he needed a little time. And you know what? He did exactly that.

In a world where we often hear stories of people shirking responsibility, this was a powerful reminder that integrity still exists. This man, far from his home, chose to do the right thing. He took ownership of his mistake, and for that, I am incredibly thankful. It wasn't just about the money; it was about the principle and the restoration of trust between two strangers.

So, the bumper is as good as new, the bill is settled, and a major source of stress has been lifted.

Now, let's talk about the "New Car Jinx."

You know the one I mean. That bizarre, seemingly universal law that a new car must, within its first few months, acquire a scratch, a dent, or in my case, a full-on bumper reconstruction. It’s like a rite of passage we all dread.

Well, I am officially declaring that this jinx ends here!

This incident will be the first and last accident for this car. I am putting it out into the universe. We’ve paid our dues to the automotive karma gods. The quota for misfortune has been filled, and we’re moving on to a long, safe, and scratch-free journey ahead.

And should I ever be lucky enough to get another new car in the future, I am praying this jinx does not follow me. The cycle is broken!

For now, I’m just going to enjoy the feeling of a resolved problem and a restored faith in people. Here’s to honest individuals, repaired bumpers, and jinx-free driving!

Have you ever experienced a "new car jinx"? Did the other party do the right thing? Share your stories below!

Rare lunch with Cass on a school-going weekday last Friday. It was the last day of her SPM Trials and she got home at 10.30am. She joined hubby and I for BKT lunch nearby.

Discovering the Benefits of Online Therapy for Everyday Stress Relief

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an inevitable companion for millions of people. From work pressures and financial concerns to relationship challenges and health issues, the sources of stress seem endless. While stress is a natural human response, chronic stress can significantly impact both physical and mental well-being. Fortunately, the digital revolution has brought mental health support closer than ever before through online therapeutic services.

The accessibility and convenience of digital mental health platforms have transformed how people approach stress management. No longer do individuals need to navigate scheduling conflicts, transportation barriers, or geographical limitations to access professional support. This shift represents a fundamental change in mental healthcare delivery, making stress relief tools available to anyone with an internet connection.

Understanding Everyday Stress and Its Impact

Everyday stress manifests in countless ways throughout our daily lives. Morning commutes, workplace deadlines, family responsibilities, and social obligations all contribute to our stress levels. While some stress can be motivating and help us perform better, chronic stress creates a cascade of negative effects on our bodies and minds.

The physiological impact of sustained stress includes elevated cortisol levels, disrupted sleep patterns, weakened immune function, and increased risk of cardiovascular problems. Mentally, chronic stress often leads to anxiety, depression, difficulty concentrating, and emotional exhaustion. These effects create a cycle where stress impacts our ability to cope, leading to even more stress.

Traditional stress management approaches often require significant time investments and may not fit easily into busy schedules. This is where digital therapeutic solutions shine, offering flexible alternatives that can be accessed when and where they are needed most.

The Rise of Digital Mental Health Solutions

The mental health landscape has undergone a dramatic transformation over the past decade. Technology has bridged the gap between those needing support and qualified professionals who can provide it. This evolution has been particularly beneficial for stress management, as stress often requires ongoing support rather than crisis intervention.

Digital platforms have democratized access to mental health resources, breaking down traditional barriers that prevented many people from seeking help. Geographic location, physical mobility, work schedules, and social stigma no longer pose insurmountable obstacles to receiving professional support.

The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated the adoption of digital mental health services, proving their effectiveness and reliability. Many people discovered that receiving support from the comfort of their own homes actually enhanced their therapeutic experience, leading to better engagement and outcomes.

Key Advantages of Online Therapeutic Support

Unprecedented Accessibility and Convenience

One of the most significant benefits of digital therapeutic platforms is their accessibility. Individuals can access support from anywhere with an internet connection, whether at home, during lunch breaks, or while traveling. This flexibility is particularly valuable for people managing busy schedules or those living in areas with limited mental health resources.

The convenience factor cannot be overstated. Traditional therapy often requires taking time off work, arranging childcare, or dealing with transportation challenges. Digital platforms eliminate these logistical hurdles, making it easier for people to prioritize their mental health.

Enhanced Comfort and Reduced Anxiety

Many people feel more comfortable discussing personal issues from familiar environments. The privacy of one's own space can reduce the anxiety often associated with visiting clinical settings. This increased comfort level often leads to more open communication and faster progress in addressing stress-related concerns.

The informal setting can also reduce the power dynamics that sometimes exist in traditional therapeutic relationships, creating a more collaborative approach to stress management.

Cost-Effective Mental Health Support

Financial barriers often prevent people from accessing mental health services. Digital platforms typically offer more affordable options compared to traditional in-person therapy. This affordability makes ongoing stress management support accessible to a broader population, including students, freelancers, and those without comprehensive health insurance.

The cost-effectiveness extends beyond session fees to include savings on transportation, parking, and time away from work or other responsibilities.

Flexible Scheduling Options

Digital therapeutic services often provide more flexible scheduling options, including evening and weekend availability. This flexibility is crucial for people whose stress is partly related to inflexible work schedules or family commitments.

Some platforms offer on-demand support, allowing users to access help when stress levels are highest rather than waiting for scheduled appointments. This immediacy can be particularly valuable during acute stress episodes.

Types of Online Stress Management Support

Real-Time Video Sessions

Live video sessions closely replicate traditional therapy experiences while offering the convenience of remote access. These sessions allow for real-time interaction, immediate feedback, and the development of strong therapeutic relationships. The visual component helps maintain the personal connection that many people value in therapeutic relationships.

Text and Chat-Based Support

For those who prefer written communication or need support outside traditional hours, text-based platforms offer valuable alternatives. These services allow users to process thoughts in writing, which can be therapeutic in itself, while receiving professional guidance and support.

Self-Guided Programs and Resources

Many platforms offer structured self-help programs specifically designed for stress management. These programs typically include educational content, practical exercises, mindfulness practices, and progress tracking tools. Users can work through these programs at their own pace while having access to professional support when needed.

Group Support Sessions

Online therapy platforms often facilitate group sessions focused on stress management. These sessions provide peer support, shared learning experiences, and the recognition that stress is a common human experience. Group settings can reduce feelings of isolation while providing diverse perspectives on stress management strategies.

 

Evidence-Based Approaches Available Online

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is one of the most effective approaches for stress management and translates exceptionally well to digital formats. Online CBT programs help users identify stress-triggering thought patterns and develop healthier cognitive responses. The structured nature of CBT makes it particularly suitable for digital delivery.

Mindfulness and Meditation Practices

Digital platforms excel at delivering mindfulness-based stress reduction techniques. Guided meditations, breathing exercises, and mindfulness practices can be accessed whenever stress levels rise. The convenience of having these tools readily available makes them more likely to be used consistently.

Stress Inoculation Training

This evidence-based approach helps individuals build resilience to stress through gradual exposure to manageable stressors while learning coping strategies. Online platforms can deliver this training through interactive modules and guided exercises.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT focuses on accepting stress as part of life while committing to values-based actions. Digital delivery of ACT principles through interactive exercises and reflective activities has shown significant effectiveness in stress reduction.

Practical Implementation Strategies

Creating a Supportive Environment

Success with online stress management requires creating an appropriate environment for participation. This includes finding a quiet, private space, ensuring reliable internet connectivity, and minimizing distractions during sessions or while using digital tools.

Establishing Consistent Routines

Regular engagement with online stress management resources tends to produce better outcomes than sporadic use. Establishing specific times for sessions or practice helps integrate stress management into daily routines.

Combining Multiple Approaches

The most effective online stress management often involves combining different types of support. For example, participating in weekly video sessions while using daily mindfulness apps and engaging with peer support communities.

Setting Realistic Goals

Digital platforms make it easy to track progress and set achievable goals. Starting with small, manageable objectives helps build momentum and confidence in stress management abilities.

Addressing Common Concerns

Technology Barriers

While technology barriers exist, most online therapeutic platforms are designed with user-friendliness in mind. Basic computer or smartphone skills are typically sufficient, and many platforms offer technical support to help users get started.

Privacy and Security

Reputable online therapy platforms use encryption and other security measures to protect user privacy. According to research published by the National Center for Biotechnology Information, online therapy platforms generally maintain high standards of confidentiality and security.

Effectiveness Compared to Traditional Therapy

Numerous studies have demonstrated that online therapeutic interventions can be as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy for many conditions, including stress-related issues. The key is finding the right platform and approach for individual needs and preferences.

Maximizing Benefits from Online Stress Management

Active Participation

Success with online stress management requires active engagement. This means participating fully in sessions, completing suggested exercises, and applying learned techniques in daily life. The convenience of online access should not lead to passive consumption of content.

Honest Communication

Open and honest communication with online therapists or within digital platforms is crucial for effective stress management. The perceived anonymity of online interactions can actually facilitate more honest disclosure for some individuals.

Patience with the Process

Stress management is a skill that develops over time. Online platforms provide the convenience of consistent practice, but results still require patience and persistence. The ability to access support regularly through digital means can actually accelerate the development of effective coping strategies.

Integration with Offline Activities

Online stress management works best when integrated with offline stress reduction activities such as exercise, social connections, and hobby engagement. Digital tools should complement rather than replace other healthy lifestyle practices.

Looking Toward the Future

The future of online stress management continues to evolve with advancing technology. Artificial intelligence is beginning to provide personalized recommendations, virtual reality is creating immersive relaxation experiences, and mobile apps are becoming increasingly sophisticated in their ability to provide real-time support.

These technological advances promise even greater accessibility and effectiveness in stress management. However, the core principles of professional guidance, evidence-based approaches, and consistent practice remain fundamental to success.

The integration of online stress management into everyday life represents a significant step forward in mental health accessibility. As these platforms continue to develop and improve, they offer hope for a future where effective stress management support is available to anyone who needs it, regardless of their circumstances or location.

The journey toward better stress management is highly individual, but online therapeutic resources provide valuable tools and support for anyone ready to take that first step. The combination of professional expertise, technological convenience, and evidence-based approaches creates unprecedented opportunities for managing everyday stress and improving overall quality of life.

How I'm Slowly Becoming a Video Editor at 52+

Forget marathon sessions. My secret to learning a new skill is just half an hour a day.

Have you ever scrolled through Instagram, Facebook or TikTok, watched a slick reel, and thought, “I wish I could do that”? I’ve been there. For the longest time, video editing felt like a secret language spoken only by digital natives and creative pros. The software looked complicated, the tutorials were endless, and the thought of spending hours on a single clip was daunting.

But recently, I decided to bite the bullet. My weapon of choice? CapCut. And my mission? To finally learn the Gen Z magic of turning clips into compelling stories.

Let me be honest: it was intimidating at first. The first time I opened the app on my phone, I was greeted with a maze of timelines, buttons, splits, and effects. My initial attempts were… well, let’s just call them ‘humble beginnings.’ But I quickly realized a crucial thing: I don’t have the luxury of spending entire weekends on trial and error. Between work, life, and everything in between, my time is precious.

So, I created a new rule for myself: The 30-Minute Rule.

No pressure, no marathon sessions. Just a dedicated half-hour each day to learn one small thing. Some days, that’s following a YouTube tutorial step-by-step. Other days, it’s just playing with a new filter or seeing what all the buttons do.

Editing the videos on my desktop computer, using the CapCut Desktop tool, is so much easier and faster than doing it on my phone, at least for an aunty with ‘old flower’ eyesight.

And you know what? It’s working. The slow-and-steady approach is paying off. The fog is lifting! I’ve now confidently mastered the absolute basics: cutting videos precisely and adding text. It might sound simple, but seeing a clean cut and a nicely formatted title appear on my screen felt like a major victory.

My next conquest? Sound. I’m moving on to learning how to add music and import songs to get the vibe just right. There’s still a mountain of things to learn—transitions, keyframes, blurring objects, trendy effects—and it’s not always easy, but the daily 30-minute investment is making it feel achievable.

I’m also not going it completely alone. I’ve already enlisted a secret weapon: my daughter, Alycia. She’s a first-class honours graduate in branding and advertising and, quite frankly, a wizard at this stuff. Once she’s back from her overseas travels, I’ve put in a request for a masterclass. I’m hoping she’ll have a little patience to teach her old mom the Gen Z ropes!

So, what’s the end goal for all this? I’m thrilled to finally share it! Once I’ve built up my skills and my confidence, I’ll be launching a fan page on social media, filled with reels and videos. As a bit of a perfectionist, I want to make sure I can produce something I’m genuinely proud of before I showcase it to the world. I’m aiming for at least ‘half-perfect’ before I hit that publish button!

This journey has taught me a valuable lesson so far: you don’t need huge chunks of time to learn something new. Consistency trumps cramming every single time. Small, daily steps really do lead to big progress.

I’ll keep you posted on my CapCut adventures. Wish me luck!

When It Rains, It Pours: My Month of Mishaps

Ever have one of those months where you feel like you should just stay in bed? You know, the kind where the universe seems to be testing your patience with a series of unfortunate and bizarre events? If you nodded yes, then pull up a chair. Let’s have a virtual coffee, because this month, I’m right there with you.

It all came to a head last Saturday. I was doing a regular routine: driving my MIL to the pharmacy. As we parked and got ready to cross the road, the unthinkable happened. The loud, heart-sinking BANG of metal crunching metal.

I turned to see a bulky pickup truck reversing right into the front of my car. My stomach dropped. This wasn’t just any car; this was my precious 2.5-month-old new car! The right front bumper was crushed, and so was my spirit.

The driver, a clearly distressed Indonesian man, got out. In the ensuing conversation, a small-world twist emerged. He is the husband of the Indonesian lady whose fruit stall I frequent. My weekly source of apples, oranges, bananas, and kiwi was now connected to the source of my car’s new crumpled aesthetic.

He was apologetic and honest. A construction worker, he explained he could only afford to pay RM1,000 for the repairs. My mind immediately started racing with calculations and worst-case scenarios.

The Insurance Dilemma: A Headache in Itself

This is the modern driver's quandary, isn't it? We pay for insurance precisely for this reason, but the thought of actually using it was overwhelming.

• Losing my No-Claim Bonus (NCB): A huge financial setback over time.

• The tedious process: Police reports, endless paperwork, appointed workshops.

• The inconvenience: Being without my new car for up to a month and possibly longer!

The bumper alone could cost nearly RM1k to replace. If the headlight was cracked (from the look of it, I think it wasn't), that would be another RM1,300-1,500. His RM1k offer suddenly felt very insufficient.

I had to sit on this anxiety for days. With the public holidays, I couldn’t even get the car to a workshop for an assessment. It was a long, frustrating wait.

Finally, today (Thursday), we took the car to my husband’s trusted mechanic. I held my breath as he inspected the damage.

And then, the news I’d been praying for: the headlight cover was not cracked! The total repair cost? Around RM800. The relief was palpable. My car would only be in the shop for 2-3 days, not a month.

Now, the final step is to present the receipt to the driver and hope he honours his promise to pay in full. I’m choosing to be optimistic and believe in his good character.

But Wait, There’s More… (Because of Course There Is)

If this was an isolated incident, it would just be a bad week. But this month has been… special. This car accident was merely the headline act in a festival of minor misfortunes.

• I’ve been accidentally cut by a knife—not once, but twice—by someone else. Two other unrelated knife incidents also occurred. Imagine being cut by a knife (twice directly, twice indirectly caused by her carelessness) four times this month by the same person!! Thankfully, the cuts were superficial.

• The day after the car accident, I slammed a heavy wooden door directly on my left third finger, which left my finger throbbing with pain for days. Someone had left their big, bulky shoes right in front of the door entrance, and I was arranging them when the door slammed on my poor finger.

It’s been comical in its consistency. So much so that someone, well-versed in Chinese metaphysics, mentioned that in Bazi (Four Pillars of Destiny), a clash of elements in one's chart during certain months can manifest as exactly this kind of accident-prone energy. It could be a clash in your own charts or someone in the family clashing with yours.

And you know what? Right now, I’m inclined to believe there might be some truth to it. When life lines up this many random mishaps, you start looking for patterns in the universe!

Now, I’m just counting down the days until I get my car back and this "clash of elements" passes. Here’s to a safer, smoother, and decidedly less dramatic month ahead for all of us!

What about you? Have you ever had a string of bad luck that felt cosmically coordinated? Do you believe in these astrological or Bazi influences on our daily lives? Share your stories in the comments—I’d love to know I’m not alone!

Surviving the SPM Silence: A Parent's Guide to (Quietly) Losing Their Mind

If you’ve ever lived with a student preparing for a major exam, you’ll know the household transforms. Normal rules go out the window. The air changes. In my case, the air has literally come to a standstill.

My littlest daughter, Cass, is in the thick of her SPM Trials. Two weeks down, two to go. But that’s just the warm-up act. The main event—the actual SPM—looms in early November, meaning our household is operating under strict martial law until December 23, 2026. I have the date circled on my calendar, not just for her, but for my own liberation.

The past fortnight has been a masterclass in sleep deprivation (for her) and sonic deprivation (for me). Cass survives on a patchwork of rest: a few hours of frantic studying at night, followed by a 2-3 hour coma in the afternoon after school. I watch this erratic cycle with a knot of worry in my stomach. Her sleep hygiene is, to put it mildly, non-existent. But as every Malaysian parent knows, during SPM, you pick your battles. A nap is a victory. A completed chapter is a cause for celebration for the student.

My battle, however, is fought in absolute silence.

My work desk is conveniently—or rather, inconveniently—located next to the dining table. This table has now become Cass’s official Command Centre for Academic Excellence. And the first rule of Command Centre? Total. Absolute. Silence.

My beloved radio, my companion of years with its chatter and songs? Gone. My YouTube playlists of 80s and 90s power ballads that get me through my workday? Muted. Even the gentle, life-giving whirr of the living room fan has been deemed an unacceptable disturbance. Why? Because the wind, she says, threatens the delicate ecosystem of her study notes. 

Even her grandmother has to play her favorite Rumikub on her iPad and listen to the news on the TV, at a muted volume.

And the aftermath of the study each night? Eraser dirt on the chair, table, and floor. Dirty plates and cups scattered on the table. Every morning, I put on my disposable nitrile gloves and clean the dining area, wiping off not only food crumbs but eraser dirt.

Can you imagine? No music. No news. No moving air. In Malaysia. It’s a special kind of torture. But a parent adapts. My remedy? An escape plan.

I’ve decided to invest in a laptop. This isn’t just a new piece of technology; it’s my ticket to freedom. I will retreat to my bedroom, rearranging furniture to carve out a new, tiny sanctuary. I’ll grant her sovereignty over the entire living and dining room. She can have the kingdom of silence all to herself.

This is the sacrifice, isn’t it? The quiet offering we make for their future. We endure the silence, the stress, the weird sleep schedules, and the temporary loss of our own comforts. We do it not for the grades, but for the person.

I don’t expect straight As from Cass. I expect her to look back on this time and know that her home was a place that supported her, even if that support was… quiet. I know she’s trying her best, and whatever that best translates to on her results slip, I will be there, immensely proud of the resilient young woman she is becoming.

After the final paper on December 23rd, the silence will be broken. We’ll finally discuss what’s next. She’s already yearning for a part-time job, to taste independence and earn her own money. I’ll happily let her have that experience. And I’m quietly, curiously excited to see what path she chooses at university.

For now, I’ll soon be in my room, with my new laptop and a fan on full blast. It’s a small price to pay.

To all the parents out there in the same silent boat: hang in there. The exam season will pass, the music will return, and the fans will spin once more. And it will all be worth it.

Sunday, 31 August 2025

This Sunday was not just our country’s Independence Day. It was the eve of the eve of Cass’s SPM Trial exam (1st day). She has been a pillar of dedication, her nose buried in textbooks (and laptop) with endless late nights. The weight of this important milestone was on her shoulders, and she had been carrying it with admirable grace.

But even the most dedicated students need to breathe. And for Cass, breathing means lacing up her skates.

Early Sunday morning, she packed her bag and headed to the skating rink. For her, figure skating isn't just a hobby; it’s her passion, her therapy, her life. It’s the place where stress evaporates with the chill of the ice and is replaced by the pure joy of movement. It was also a chance to reconnect with her teammates and share a laugh and lunch with her bestie from the team—a necessary dose of normalcy before a week of exams.

With Cass in her element, the rest of our trio— hubby, Sherilyn, and I—decided to embark on a small adventure of our own. Hubby drove to Marco Polo for a dim sum brunch.

Stepping into that Chinese restaurant was like stepping through a portal in time. The familiar aromas of steamed dim sum instantly transported me back over three decades. In the 1990s, Marco Polo on Jalan Sultan Ismail was the place to be. I was working in the HR Department of Southern Bank then, and this restaurant was our celebratory sanctuary.

I have such fond memories of those days. When our manager or superiors received a good bonus or we’d successfully navigated a particularly challenging period, we’d all head here. The large, round tables would be overflowing with delicious dim sum, the lazy Susan constantly turning, sharing not just food but laughter and camaraderie. The working hours in the bank were long, but the friendships forged there were built to last. To see that this iconic restaurant is still thriving today filled me with a warm, nostalgic glow. How I miss those days, and the monthly pay and wonderful bank benefits! Imagine earning over 8% interest (plus an additional percentage for staff) on our FDs in the early 1990s! 

After our delicious and memory-filled brunch, we made a stop at Bray for a loaf of their fantastic sourdough bread. And, as is his tradition, my husband couldn't resist adding a few pastries to the bag. But I didn’t touch those – they were for our girls. These days, I’m more focused on less-sweet, or sugar-free, snacks, a conscious effort to lower my HbA1C reading. It’s a small but significant change for my health.

While I am glad that Cass is studying hard, it also means that I have to live my days in total silence! Whenever she studies, I have to turn off my radio, and watch my videos muted.  This is truly annoying, and the torture is going to last for another 4 months, ending only on 23 December – the last day of SPM!!  I already have a remedy to this and I’ll update everyone soon!

Sourdough bread and pastries from Bray.

Cass prepped her skating rink lunch box, which is power-packed with healthy protein - her sister's homemade dumplings, salad, tofu with teriyaki sauce and an onsen egg.