This morning Cass and I had a big meltdown. For the past 1 week, Cass has been uber cantankerous, so much that she has gotten on my rawest nerves and getting me really pissed off. I think one of the reasons why she has been acting this way is that she has not been feeling well. But I have feelings too. I am also not in my top form (feeling under the weather and darn the PMS!) and getting nonsense from this girl all the time has really worn out my patience totally. You know, things like I give her an orange but she wants an apple instead, refusing to follow me out though there is no one at home, refusing to pee, refusing to eat, refusing to drink and refusing to follow every single instruction from me. Everyone of them!! This morning was the final straw that broke my back. I had woken her up to get her ready for school but she just laid down on the couch with a cup of water in her hand, almost spilling it. After being reprimanded from me, she sat at the dining table but she was not drinking. She was staring outside in a daze. No sweet talk nor threats from me would make her move and get ready for school. She had already skipped school for 3 days this week as she was down with a bad throat. She has to take part in her school concert next week and she needs to practise her concert dance everyday. Exam is around the corner too. Finally, she was too late to go to school. She ponteng school!
With pent-up anger from yesterday when she refused to eat the porridge that I cooked and refused to follow me out to the mini mart when there was no one at home to watch over her, I could no longer stomach her nonsense anymore. I barked at her with lava spewing out from me. But she was emotionless! That made me even more enraged. That was it. I told her that I was not going to care about her anymore. And I just burst out sobbing myself. I did not fix her breakfast. I ignored her the whole morning. She came to me and asked me why my eyes were wet. She smelled my arm and touched me but I was and still am super pissed off with this brat!
For lunch, I have reheated the porridge that she refused to eat yesterday for her to eat. She ate it all. She was starved from having no breakfast. For dinner, I am on a strike. I ain't going to cook but will just take-away dinner. The brat has spoiled my mood entirely. She is corroded with guilt now. She helped me to change the bedsheet just now and asked me if I wanted a massage. But I am just in no mood for any of these but to run away from her!!