When “Can’t Focus” Turned Out to Be Something Beautiful

When my second daughter, Sherilyn, was younger, she was full of energy—almost like there was a motor inside her that never switched off. She couldn’t sit still for long, her attention in class wandered easily, and she talked non-stop. Even when she was sitting or walking, her hands were always moving, touching, fidgeting.

At that time, I honestly wondered if she might have ADHD or Dyslexia.

But everything changed when she was 11.

One day, she decided to bake a strawberry cake for her granny’s birthday—all on her own. No help, no supervision. Just her, in the kitchen, completely focused.

Fingers cut, wrong measurements, and a very messy kitchen later... a beautiful and delish cake surprised all of us.

And what came out of that oven… was amazing for an 11-year-old.

That moment stayed with me.

Because from that cake onward, something in her unfolded.

She started exploring baking—pies, tarts, cakes, entremets,—and then moved on to cooking proper meals too. Sushi, Japanese egg rolls, Korean dishes, Indian food, Italian, French… she just kept learning, tasting, experimenting. Self-taught, driven, curious.

We were all her happy guinea pigs at home, especially during the lockdowns from 2020 - 2022 when she cooked and baked the most.

She even picked up latte art on her own later, then went on to attend paid courses she saved up for herself.

During the pandemic, while online classes were happening, she was often in the kitchen instead—PC on loudspeaker, multitasking in her own world. Sitting still for lessons wasn’t easy for her, but focus showed up strongly in other places.

In her SPM year, I eventually had to arrange nearly RM2,000 per month worth of one-to-one tuition for the entire year for Add Math, Physics, Chemistry & Bio, because the disruptions from lockdown and schooling challenges affected her learning. But she pushed through and still surprised me with her results in the end.

Later in university, something else became clear—when she studied architecture, her focus was incredible. Her assignments, models, and designs were detailed, creative, and strong. That was when I began to understand her more deeply.

Maybe it wasn’t that she “couldn’t focus.”

Maybe it was that she couldn’t focus on things that didn’t speak to her heart.

Because when she cares about something—baking, cooking, latte art, dance (especially), architecture—she becomes completely absorbed, almost unstoppable.

And I’ve learned this: sometimes children who seem “restless” or “unfocused” are simply not yet placed in the right environment for their strengths to shine.

So if your child struggles in school or seems distracted, don’t rush to label them. Give them space. Let them explore different interests. Let them try, fail, and try again.

You might just discover that their “dim light” is actually waiting for the right spark to shine brilliantly one day.

Baking her first cake at age 11 for my mum's birthday.

Age 9 - back from after-school care centre and straight to the kitchen to help me cook

Baking her first beef pie at age 11 and it was absolutely delish.

Age 15, during the lockdowns - Sherilyn made this burger from scratch - the buns and the meat patties.

Age 9 - It all started with her always volunteering to help me cook scrambled eggs and stir-fried veggies. 

Age 15 - made butter chicken and cheese naan. She even made the cheese herself.

Age 15 - lemon tart with matcha. She even made the lemon curd herself and sold it during the pandemic.

Age 15, during the lockdowns - she made taro & sweet potato balls for our own bubble tea and tong sui.

I can't remember the name of this beef but it was coated with pistachio and very yummy.

Age 15 - Sherilyn baked this yummy banana walnut bread, which is my fav.

From Willing Models to Camera Dodgers

Back when my girls were younger, especially during their pre-teen years, they were my most willing models.

At that time, I was running an online store that sold everything from adult and children's clothing to toys and all sorts of goodies — almost like a mini Shopee before Lazada and Shopee even existed! I managed the business for 10 years while juggling my freelance content writing work.

Whenever new stocks of girls' dresses arrived, my daughters would happily model them for me. They loved dressing up, posing for photos, and being part of Mum's little business. Those were fun days.

Then they became teenagers.

Almost overnight, my enthusiastic little models turned into expert camera dodgers. The moment I whipped out my phone, they would disappear, turn away, cover their faces, or loudly protest, "Mum, no photos!"

And honestly, not much has changed even now.

My eldest will still occasionally allow me to take her photos. The other two? Not so much. Cass has a condition attached — I can post her photo only if I promise to cover her face with a sticker first! 😆

Sometimes I miss those days when they happily posed for me without complaints. And yes, I secretly wish they would enjoy taking photos with me again.

Well, perhaps one day they'll decide to humour their old mother and willingly pose for a few pictures. A mum can always hope. ❤️ 

The Competitive Spirit That Skipped Me 😆

Both my eldest daughter, Alycia, and my middle daughter, Sherilyn, started ballet lessons when they were 4 years old. They're now 23 and 21.

Alycia disliked ballet from the very beginning and eventually stopped after a few years. She later moved on to kickboxing, Muay Thai and tennis instead — definitely more her style!

Sherilyn, on the other hand, continued ballet until she was about 10, when her interest slowly shifted towards contemporary dance, hip hop and street dancing. One dance class became two, then three… and now I think she attends almost half a dozen classes, including acrobatic dance. She funds the classes herself, from her part-time gigs. 

Her passion for dance is very much like Cass’s love for figure skating — intense, dedicated and completely self-driven.

Ironically, I was never into dancing when I was younger. Between dancing and gym or outdoor fitness activities, I would choose the latter anytime. Their dad is not exactly a competitive person either, which makes me wonder where both girls got this competitive streak from! 😂

Next month, Sherilyn will be flying to Singapore again for another international dance competition. Last year, her team won gold at another competition there, so they are very excited.

Sometimes I look at both Sherilyn and Cass — one competing in dance and the other in figure skating — and I still cannot figure out who they take after. Certainly not me! Lol.  

Alycia (6yo) & Sherilyn (4yo) in 2009.

My 3 angels, circa 2011

Sherilyn in 2025

A New Chapter, Same Traditions — Celebrating CNY and Sherilyn at 21

This year’s Chinese New Year felt a little different, yet beautifully familiar in its own way.

On the 1st day of CNY, the three girls and their dad came back to Ipoh. For many years, we would make the annual trip from KL to visit my parents here. But this time, life has come full circle — I’m now the one staying in Ipoh, and it was them who made the journey back home. It felt both surreal and comforting, like watching a tradition quietly evolve.

What made this reunion even more meaningful is that we were once again celebrating Sherilyn’s birthday. Born on the 8th day of Chinese New Year, her birthday has always been intertwined with festive joy. This year, however, carried extra weight — Sherilyn turned 21 on 16 February 2026, marking a beautiful milestone into adulthood.

We had our reunion dinner at Kok Thai Chinese Restaurant. As always, the celebration began with the sweetest moments first — cake cutting and family photos before the main meal. There’s something about pausing before dinner to celebrate life that makes the occasion feel even more intentional and heartfelt.

True to tradition, Sherilyn received double ang pows again — one for Chinese New Year and another for her birthday. It’s a little privilege she has enjoyed since childhood, and one that makes this season especially magical for her. Chinese New Year will always hold a special place in her heart, simply because it almost always arrives hand in hand with her birthday.

This year, Sherilyn chose her own cake from Ferment Boulangerie in Canning Garden — a strawberry shortcake that was as beautiful as it was indulgent. Light, fragrant, and decadently layered, it was the perfect centrepiece for the evening.

As I sat there watching everyone laugh, eat, and celebrate, I realised that while circumstances may change, the essence of family remains constant. Traditions don’t disappear — they reshape themselves around new seasons of life.

And perhaps that’s the true meaning of reunion: not just gathering in the same place, but carrying the same love forward, year after year. 

You can watch the video here > https://www.facebook.com/reel/1424737755721445

December Routines, Exam Seasons & Little Joys on the Horizon

With four papers done and seven more to go, Cass is officially deep in the trenches of SPM 2025. Her exam marathon will only end on 23 December, which feels incredibly far away for both mother and child. Today was her Math paper, and tomorrow will be Moral—one of those subjects that somehow looks easy until you actually sit down to study it.

Watching her revise day and night brings back memories of my own SPM 35 years ago. Honestly, nothing I’ve studied since has ever come close to the pressure and intensity of that exam. Even the Human Resources Management Certificate course I took—fully sponsored by the bank I worked for—felt easier in comparison. Back then, I had to attend Saturday classes and squeeze in night study sessions after work, but it was still nothing like the all-consuming anticipation of sitting for SPM. There’s something about that one big national exam that just hits differently.

Meanwhile, Sherilyn had her own challenge this week—and she aced it once again. She and her team won another dance competition yesterday! What made this win even more meaningful was the fact that she wasn’t feeling well the day before. On Saturday, she asked me to take her to the clinic so she could get medication and recover quickly in time for the competition. True enough, she bounced back the next day, strong enough to perform and strong enough to win. Her determination never fails to amaze me.

Alycia, on the other hand, continues to live her 2025 in “travel mode.” Her travelling stars are shining brightly again after a year of hopping from one country to another. And now, there’s a chance she may be heading to Tokyo next month! Of course, this depends on whether her company approves her leave—and since she’s still on probation, she's keeping her fingers crossed. Still, it’s exciting to see her life filled with so many new adventures.

As for me, my little joy comes in the form of an overdue hometown escape. I’m looking forward to going back to Ipoh with my parents next week. They’ll be coming to KL to attend my MIL’s 80th birthday celebration, and the next day I’ll be heading back with them. I can’t wait. After missing Dong Zhi and Christmas with them for so many years, being able to celebrate together again feels like a blessing. I’m already imagining the warmth of home, familiar dishes, and simple family moments.

December may be hectic, stressful, and full of moving parts—but it’s also full of milestones, hopes, and the comforting promise of home.

The team clinched the champion title again in the contemporary dance category.

This photo popped up on my Google Photos today - taken exactly 10 years ago on 2 December 2015.  How did time pass SO quickly?!

Dim Sum, Doting Grandparents, and a Well-Earned Holiday

Barely 20 hours after returning from Singapore as a champion, my daughter Sherilyn was already on the move. Her dance team had just won first place in the Contemporary Dance category at the 27th Asia Pacific Dance Competition, a well-deserved victory for all their hard work. But instead of resting on her laurels, she hopped on the ETS train with a university friend, heading straight for Ipoh.

For my daughters, their grandparents' home in Ipoh is more than just a place to visit; it’s a holiday retreat. My parents absolutely love to pamper them. At 82 years old, my dad still plays the role of their personal "Grab driver" every time they visit during their semester breaks. The girls are treated to their favorite foods and have all their wishes catered to, including getting pocket money from my parents! 💖

Today, their Ipoh holiday began with a lavish dim sum brunch at Dimsum Paradise in Ipoh Garden. My papa, in true granddad fashion, ordered a feast for everyone. My mom told me the dim sum was "very, very good." Looking at the photo of Sherilyn, her friend, and my parents all enjoying the meal, it's easy to see why. The spread looks incredible!

I can't wait to try it myself the next time I visit. It fills my heart with joy to see my daughters so happy and cherished by their grandparents. After all her hard work and success, this quiet, loving retreat is the perfect way for Sherilyn to celebrate.

Dinner yesterday. Sherilyn's uni mate looks like her twin, don't you think so too? 😁

Sumptuous dim sum at Dimsum Paradise today.

Sherilyn with granny.

Gold Medals, Matcha Lattes & Midnight Assignments

Yesterday marked another proud moment for Sherilyn — she and her dance team clinched a Gold Medal in the Contemporary Dance category at the 12th Malaysia Dance Competition, organized by CSTD (the Commonwealth Society of Teachers of Dancing). It’s yet another glittering win to add to their growing list of accomplishments, and I couldn’t be prouder of these hardworking, passionate dancers!

But Sherilyn’s life isn’t just about competitions and choreography. She’s currently juggling the intense demands of her university degree in architecture — a field known for its relentless stream of assignments and projects. Her days (and nights!) are packed, leaving her very little room to breathe, let alone relax.

Yet, in true Sherilyn style, she still finds ways to carve out small moments of joy. This week, during a short break from her hectic schedule, she whipped up a delicious cucumber and tomato salsa to pair with air-fried salmon belly — her version of a quick, nutritious, and satisfying meal. And of course, no Sherilyn meal is complete without her signature café-style matcha latte, which she prepares with all the finesse of a trained barista.

Speaking of barista skills, she also went to work at her part-time Saturday café job today — yes, even after competing and dancing the entire day before! Her energy and drive never cease to amaze me.

As I type this, Sherilyn is getting ready to join us for dinner at Mid Valley Megamall — a rare treat, as her packed schedule usually keeps her too busy to dine out with us.  After dinner, she and Cass are off to the cinema to watch  “How To Train Your Dragon”.  It’s these little family moments that I treasure so much, even more so when she manages to make time for them.

Another gold medal to her collection.

Sherilyn's wholesome lunch - air fried salmon belly, salsa and creamy scrambled eggs.

Sherilyn's matcha latte with homemade mango syrup.

Unwelcomed Surprises: A Week in the Life of a Mom

This week has been another whirlwind of unexpected events for our family. It started with Alycia’s unplanned visit to SJMC to see her hand and microsurgery doctor. She had developed a cluster of blisters on her post-operated finger, though thankfully, they weren’t on the operated part of her finger but rather on the lower part. After examining the finger, the doctor referred her to a dermatologist, who reassured her that the issue wasn’t serious. She was prescribed a topical cream, and the cost of the bill was RM203, which, unfortunately, isn’t claimable from insurance.

Just when I thought we could put Alycia’s finger issue behind us, Sherilyn had a sudden allergic reaction after eating prawns. Sherilyn’s strange allergy to prawns has always puzzled us. Most of the time, she’s perfectly fine after eating them, but once in a while, she develops hives, as she did this week. We suspect she’s allergic to the chemicals used in certain prawns, as this reaction doesn’t always happen. 

That night, her dad had to rush her to the Accident & Emergency department at our neighborhood hospital, past midnight, to get anti-allergy medication and steroids intravenously. She now has to take oral steroids for a week, but being the resilient girl she is, Sherilyn went right back to university the next day.

Last year Sherilyn was warded in the same hospital for a night to treat a severe allergy after eating prawns.  After the latest hives incident, I told Sherilyn that she should steer clear of eating prawns to avoid another unwanted allergy flareup.

Reflecting on this year, it seems like life has been filled with one unwelcome surprise after another. From Alycia’s freak kitchen accident in June to these health scares, it feels like we’ve been on a rollercoaster. Yet, I’m grateful that nothing major has happened—aside from Alycia’s accident, which we’ve slowly overcome.

As the year draws to a close, I’m hopeful for smoother, more peaceful days ahead. The unpredictability of life has tested us, but it’s also made us stronger. 

Mutton rendang, mixed veggies, and Ayam Masak Merah from Catermate for our lunch and dinner on one of the days earlier this week.

Thai fish cakes and mutton rendang.

Nasi Minyak with fried shallots.

21 March 2024 ~ Random Updates from the Family Front

On Monday this week, my two older girls, Alycia and Sherilyn, found themselves donning a new hat as servers at a mega event held at the iconic Sepang International Circuit. The occasion? The much-anticipated launch of the Infinix Note 40 Series mobile phone, an event that drew guests from across the globe. With the hubby, the caterer, needing extra hands to ensure the event ran smoothly, Alycia and Sherilyn stepped up to the plate, leveraging their experience from working part-time at a café on weekends.  Fortunately, Alycia had no class on that day and Sherilyn is currently on a semester break.

Sherilyn at her dad's central kitchen. It was a very busy day for all his staff.

While rubbing shoulders with international guests and media was undoubtedly a highlight, the real thrill came towards the end of the evening. Picture this: drifting on a sports car around the F1 circuit under the starlit sky. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that left Alycia and Sherilyn exhilarated and buzzing with excitement. They also got to bring home each an Infinix power bank as a door gift.

Despite the late night, Sherilyn wasted no time in seizing the next opportunity for adventure.  The following day, she got up early to embark on a road trip with her college mates to Penang. Despite a late night and an unpacked luggage bag, she quickly prepped sushi for brunch for herself and her friends, to snack on in the car. They planned not to stop for lunch so that they could reach Penang earlier. One of her friends drove the car. As I type this post, Sherilyn is making her way back to KL after a memorable two-night stay at an Air BNB condo, filled with laughter, exploration, and the joys of youth.

Delicious assorted sushi, prepped by chef Sherilyn. 

100 Plus canned drinks for her friends.

As a parent, witnessing my daughters embrace these moments of joy and discovery fills my heart with pride and gratitude. From serving at a prestigious event to embarking on spontaneous road trips and overseas holidays, they are truly making the most of their college and university years... before they enter the workforce.

Sherilyn's 19th Birthday

On 16 February 2024, Sherilyn turned 19, marking another milestone in her journey of growth. Our celebration this year held special significance as we gathered in Ipoh on the first day of Chinese New Year on 10 February 2024, to commemorate her birthday in advance. This is the second time that Sherilyn celebrated her birthday in Ipoh with my parents and brothers. If Chinese New Year happens to fall in February, we would be able to have a double celebration in Ipoh when my brothers return to Ipoh.

Sherilyn's birth on the 8th day of Chinese New Year in 2005 remains etched in my memory with vivid clarity. On the eve of Pai Ti Kung day, Sherilyn made her grand entrance into the world at noon, leaving an indelible mark on our hearts.  Her spirited nature became apparent from the start, as evidenced by her feisty behavior even during those early breastfeeding sessions.  

I recall the thunderous sounds of fireworks at midnight on 17 February 2005 as the Hokkiens celebrated and prayed to the Jade Emperor.  That midnight, the infant, not even a day old yet, bit off a small part of my teat as she was trying to suckle milk. I was shocked to see blood in her mouth and then the double shock when I realized that it was a tiny part of my teat in her tiny mouth 😬. I will never forget the pain I endured that night and the subsequent times that she latched onto a badly wounded teat. 😂 I am so proud of myself that I survived those days.

A yummy cake from JJ Swiss Roll.

Fast forward to Sherilyn's 19th birthday celebration, and we found ourselves indulging in not one but two joyous occasions. The pre-birthday and Chinese New Year festivities in Ipoh, surrounded by family members, including my brother's family from Singapore, set the stage for a memorable celebration. 

With my fam bam.

Sherilyn received a birthday and CNY ang pow from my parents.

Pandan and chocolate flavor this time as the popular cempedak flavor was sold out.  The pandan and chocolate flavor was superb too, with a strong pandan aroma.

On the eve of her birthday, Sherilyn treated herself to a decadent sirloin steak infused with sage butter, a gourmet delight that reflected her refined palate and culinary skills.  With meticulous care, she pan-fried the steak to perfection, accompanied by creamy mashed. She wolfed down the entire piece of steak herself and shared just one small bite with me as I requested to try it.

Lip-smackingly delish steak and mash, both meticulously prepped by Sherilyn for herself - her present to herself, bought using her ang pow money.

Now, as Sherilyn embarks on her 19th year, I am filled with gratitude for the privilege of being her mother and witnessing her growth every step of the way. Though the years may pass, Sherilyn's vibrant and unwavering spirit, thirst for competitiveness, and boundless energy remain unchanged.