The Fibroid That Came Back: A Story of Fear, Faith, and Letting Go

Shortly after I gave birth to Cass, my youngest girl — sometime in 2008 or 2009 — my gynaecologist spotted a very tiny fibroid during a routine ultrasound scan. I can’t remember the exact year, but I remember his words clearly.

“It’s very small. Just monitor it.”

So I did.

In the early years, it caused no trouble at all. No pain, no heavy bleeding, nothing alarming. Life went on as usual, and that tiny fibroid faded into the background of my busy days as a mum.

But around 2015, things started to change.

My periods became unbearably heavy. Not the normal kind of heavy — the kind that makes you tired, woozy and very uncomfortable. This was extreme. I had to wear diapers (changed every hourly) during my period just to get through the day. It was physically draining and emotionally exhausting.

After consulting several doctors, I finally decided to go for a laparoscopic myomectomy in 2017. It’s a minimally invasive surgery commonly preferred over open surgery for removing uterine fibroids. Smaller cuts, faster recovery, less trauma to the body.

But what happened before the surgery was the scariest part.

The month leading up to it, I nearly bled to death during my period. My red blood cell count dropped dangerously low. My gynae warned me that if my levels didn’t improve, I might need a blood transfusion during surgery.

That possibility terrified me.

I was prescribed Sangobion iron supplements twice a day to boost my iron levels. I also drank red and black dates water daily and forced myself to eat more red meat. I did everything I could to build my blood back up.

On the day of my surgery, they repeated my blood test.

My red blood cell count had improved.

No transfusion needed.

I was incredibly relieved. The surgery went smoothly, and I was discharged less than 24 hours later. I still remember how thankful I felt — thankful to have gone through it safely, thankful that my body pulled through.

For a few years after that, life returned to normal.

Then, about four or five years later — sometime in 2021 or 2022 — during my annual checkup, my gynae found another fibroid.

My heart sank instantly.

All the old fears came rushing back. The bleeding, the weakness, the anxiety, the surgery. I remember thinking to myself: should I have asked for a hysterectomy back in 2017? Would that have spared me from going through this again?

Since discovering this new fibroid, I’ve been praying quietly every year that it would stop growing… or even disappear miraculously. Each annual scan feels like waiting for exam results.

The good news? It’s growing very slowly. From last year to this year, there has been little to no change in size. That alone gives me some comfort.

Over the years, I’ve reflected a lot on why this happened. I truly believe that prolonged stress, lack of sleep, and emotional struggles played a role. My acupuncturist once told me that in Traditional Chinese Medicine, fibroids are often linked to trapped negative emotions — especially stress and anger. From a medical standpoint, hormones like estrogen are also known contributors.

Maybe the truth lies somewhere in between.

At this stage, there isn’t much I can do except continue monitoring it. I also have a tiny ovarian cyst that’s being watched. I’m hoping that menopause will arrive soon and naturally slow down or stop these growths altogether.

My mum once shared that she has had an ovarian cyst for many years, and her doctor told her it didn’t need to be removed. That gave me some reassurance. Sometimes, not everything inside us needs to be “fixed.” Some things just need watching and patience.

The photo here was taken in May 2017, nine years ago, after my fibroid removal surgery at Sunway Medical Centre.

Today, I still hope I won’t need another surgery. But if it ever becomes necessary to save my life, I know I will face it the same way I did before — with fear, yes, but also with faith.

Because life has taught me this: we don’t always get control, but we always get a choice in how we face what comes next.

Less than 24 hours after my surgery with dad, mum, Sherilyn (12yo) & Cass (9yo).

My abdomen looks awful with scars from 3 C-sections, an ovarian drilling surgery (part of my fertility treatment as I had PCOS), and a fibroid removal surgery.

Moments Before The Surgery

My mum the paparazzi snapped many pictures of me while I was being wheeled to the OT of SYMC on 29 May 2017.

The teary and red eyed ones are omitted here.

Below is the picture of me being pushed to the OT Complex.  My loved ones were prohibited from going beyond the door. But my dearest papa managed to barge in to check on me 2 hours after the surgery as there were still no news on me from the doctor or the nurses. 😆




Below - a hospital staff waiting to push me into the lift to bring me to the OT and I was trying so hard not to burst into tears again.  I had gone through this bloodcurdling events 5 times in my life. While waiting for the lift to arrive, with my baby girl next to me, I suddenly felt like it was the year 2002, when I was waiting to be pushed to the OT to undergo the very first surgery in my life, which was a laproscopic Ovarian Drilling. I was desperate to have a baby then and tried ALL means to get pregnant.  15 years on, I have the same spine-chilling and nervous feelings all over again but this time, I have my 3 grown up babies by my side. 💗💓.  Please GOD, let this be the LAST surgery I ever have to go through, amen.




Time really flies. Two weeks ago, I was up to my eyeballs worrying over everything about the surgery and the biopsy result.  Now everything is over and I am recovering well. My prayers now are for the insurance company to approve the two unapproved items - the power morcellator and the morcellator bag costing a whopping RM5k+.

Post Laproscopic Myomectomy Surgery

My first solid meal after the surgery was a few slices of tuna sandwich, prepared for me the night before. I didn't eat it and just left it in my room as I was too lazy to get down from bed and to brush my teeth after that. I didn't feel like moving too much right after a surgery.  I just drank a packet of Izumio, a few sips of Milo and many sips of warm water after my surgery. I had a bad throat with phlegm caused by the oxygen tube inserted into my throat during the surgery. I only ate the tuna wholemeal sandwich at 6:30 a.m. the next day.

At 8:30 a.m., I had breakfast of fish porridge.




At 11:30 a.m., lunch was served. I chose braised chicken with potatoes and ginger and brown rice. There was a side of fish ball soup and honey dew as dessert.



The food was bland enough for recuperating patients.



Eating and working at my lappie 😁

After my discharge from the hospital on Tuesday, 30 May, my papa, mil and the girl's grand aunt joined in forces to cook up a storm. It was a celebration of sorts to welcome me home. It was coincidentally the Duanwu / Dumpling Festival too on that day.





I had pumpkin, pork and fish porridge but I didn't take any pic of it. I was feeling very bloated with gas pains from the unreleased gas and CO2 trapped in my body. The gas was finally released after dinner. What a relief!!!

The hubs bought a jackfruit cheese cake for us to celebrate a 2-in-1 occasion: Shireen's Homecoming and Parents' Day 💗




This morning as I was watching Cass wash up and brush her teeth, Cass said this proudly and melodramatically. "mum, you see, I survived a HUNDRED days without you... and you, you got back alive after the surgery. The good thing is, I feel a lot more independent! I can wake up to pee with my alarm clock at 4am, without you. You see, I survived without you!"

After a mere 3 days away from home, my girls are suddenly so independent. This morning, Alycia helped peel an orange for Cass and hung the laundry.  Cass helped to mop the floor with the magic mop after breakfast. After lunch just now, Drama Queen helped to mop the kitchen floor.  I am blessed 😍💖


You can read the story of my laproscopic myomectomy surgery in my other blog.

Heavy Period Caused By Fibroid

My monthly unwanted guest arrived yesterday. My Aunt Flow is by far the cruelest this time, lashing out a massive outflow of my most precious blood. Yes blood is SO precious to me now.  I am hoping that I can avoid a blood transfusion before my surgery.  She caused me a sleepless night yesterday, the entire frigging night. I got up every hourly to change the pads, which would be soaked to my shorts. And I used 42cm pads.  A blanket that I place underneath me was also stained.  Not only was there a massive blood flood, clots were plentiful too. And darn the cramps when the clots are being passed out each time. This morning I got up feeling like a walking dead, looking paler and weaker than ever. The breathlessness crept out again, so did the heart flutters.  After a heavy breakfast and snacking throughout the day, I am feeling much better now. Feeling like someone who is preggers, I have been feeling hungry all the time today.  Throughout the day,  I snacked on 'char siew', 'siew yoke', roast chicken (meat gives me the iron power!), black dates, goji berries, lots of ginger + chlorophyll drinks, wholegrain bread with homemade multi-nut jam, lots of Izumio hydrogen water, my super power Super Lutein and my iron tablets. With such  massive blood loss last night and am still bleeding heavily, I am  surprised that I haven't collapsed yet, thank God I am still alive! 😅 I could still drive around and do house chores.  This episode is making me look forward to the surgery. I can't wait for the fibroid to be removed from my body.  I miss my old pre-fibroid body so much 💔

Purple Flower, A Natural Anti-Oxidant & Remedy

I had promised earlier that I will blog about this 'Phong Far' (as the chinese call it in cantonese), a flower with purplish, greenish petals and tiny white flowers inside the bud. This flower has been known for a long time to be a natural anti-oxidant and remedy for various ailments and diseases. The leaves are pointy and long and also purplish and greenish in colour.

My late maternal grandma used to boil the flower with either pork or raw yellow sugar whenever my youngest brother had eczema decades ago. My mum is now drinking this purple flower water boiled with raw yellow sugar to treat her goitre and fibroids.

When I went for my pap-smear and annual medical check-up a few months ago, my gynae had detected a very tiny fibroid of apprx 1cm in size in my uterus when he did a trans-vaginal ultrasound scan. Naturally, I was alarmed and stunned. My gynae was however very blase about it and said I don't need to take any action and said that fibroids are prevalent among women (1 in 5 women has it) and normally would not turn malignant.

Some time last year, when my mum went for her routine medical check-up, her gynae had also detected a fibroid in her uterus. My mum's friends then advised her to boil 'phong far' with raw yellow sugar to shrink the cyst. Miraculously after months of consuming the 'phong far' water, the ultrasound scans showed that the cyst had vanished. My mum's friends who had cysts in various parts of their internal body also drank this flower water and swear by the miraculous healing properties. One of my mum's friend's surgeon also recommended this flower water to his patients with cysts.
I plucked these flowers from a bush next to a playground near my house.

I add 1 tablespoon of raw yellow sugar to approximately 4 cups of water.

Put the flowers and yellow sugar into a pot of water and boil for approximately 1 hour.

Washing the flowers is quite a onerous task as I have to open up the petals of each flower and wash out the soil and dirt under running water. It takes me half an hour to wash 2 handfuls of flowers.

The 'phong far' drink. It has a sweet fragrant flowery taste.

I have been boiling 'phong far' with raw yellow sugar for myself, Alycia (for her eczema) and Sherilyn for her swollen lymph nodes for the last 2 months and have so far consumed it more than 20 times. Sherilyn has no problem drinking it, in fact she LOVES it. A few days ago, when I touched the lump below Sherilyn's jaw, it had reduced in size and not so tender anymore.

* Disclaimer : this is not intended to be a medical advice*