When “Can’t Focus” Turned Out to Be Something Beautiful

When my second daughter, Sherilyn, was younger, she was full of energy—almost like there was a motor inside her that never switched off. She couldn’t sit still for long, her attention in class wandered easily, and she talked non-stop. Even when she was sitting or walking, her hands were always moving, touching, fidgeting.

At that time, I honestly wondered if she might have ADHD or Dyslexia.

But everything changed when she was 11.

One day, she decided to bake a strawberry cake for her granny’s birthday—all on her own. No help, no supervision. Just her, in the kitchen, completely focused.

Fingers cut, wrong measurements, and a very messy kitchen later... a beautiful and delish cake surprised all of us.

And what came out of that oven… was amazing for an 11-year-old.

That moment stayed with me.

Because from that cake onward, something in her unfolded.

She started exploring baking—pies, tarts, cakes, entremets,—and then moved on to cooking proper meals too. Sushi, Japanese egg rolls, Korean dishes, Indian food, Italian, French… she just kept learning, tasting, experimenting. Self-taught, driven, curious.

We were all her happy guinea pigs at home, especially during the lockdowns from 2020 - 2022 when she cooked and baked the most.

She even picked up latte art on her own later, then went on to attend paid courses she saved up for herself.

During the pandemic, while online classes were happening, she was often in the kitchen instead—PC on loudspeaker, multitasking in her own world. Sitting still for lessons wasn’t easy for her, but focus showed up strongly in other places.

In her SPM year, I eventually had to arrange nearly RM2,000 per month worth of one-to-one tuition for the entire year for Add Math, Physics, Chemistry & Bio, because the disruptions from lockdown and schooling challenges affected her learning. But she pushed through and still surprised me with her results in the end.

Later in university, something else became clear—when she studied architecture, her focus was incredible. Her assignments, models, and designs were detailed, creative, and strong. That was when I began to understand her more deeply.

Maybe it wasn’t that she “couldn’t focus.”

Maybe it was that she couldn’t focus on things that didn’t speak to her heart.

Because when she cares about something—baking, cooking, latte art, dance (especially), architecture—she becomes completely absorbed, almost unstoppable.

And I’ve learned this: sometimes children who seem “restless” or “unfocused” are simply not yet placed in the right environment for their strengths to shine.

So if your child struggles in school or seems distracted, don’t rush to label them. Give them space. Let them explore different interests. Let them try, fail, and try again.

You might just discover that their “dim light” is actually waiting for the right spark to shine brilliantly one day.

Baking her first cake at age 11 for my mum's birthday.

Age 9 - back from after-school care centre and straight to the kitchen to help me cook

Baking her first beef pie at age 11 and it was absolutely delish.

Age 15, during the lockdowns - Sherilyn made this burger from scratch - the buns and the meat patties.

Age 9 - It all started with her always volunteering to help me cook scrambled eggs and stir-fried veggies. 

Age 15 - made butter chicken and cheese naan. She even made the cheese herself.

Age 15 - lemon tart with matcha. She even made the lemon curd herself and sold it during the pandemic.

Age 15, during the lockdowns - she made taro & sweet potato balls for our own bubble tea and tong sui.

I can't remember the name of this beef but it was coated with pistachio and very yummy.

Age 15 - Sherilyn baked this yummy banana walnut bread, which is my fav.

The Airport Scare Before Our Disneyland Dream

It was 6 December 2015 (10.5 yrs ago) — a day I will never forget.

We were at KLIA, just two hours away from boarding our flight to Hong Kong. The girls were excited, especially Cass, who was only seven years old and looking forward to visiting Disneyland.

Then, the moment we arrived at the airport, Cass complained of a terrible tummy ache. The pain was so intense that she had to squat down and couldn't walk.

My heart immediately sank.

Because of her history of recurring UTIs, which used to strike almost every month until her surgeries at 13 months old, all sorts of frightening thoughts ran through my mind. I was convinced that we would have to rush her to the hospital. I imagined Cass and I staying behind in Kuala Lumpur while her dad and two sisters flew on to Hong Kong without us.

Trying to stay calm, I quickly brought her to the toilet.

For the next half hour, I stood inside the cubicle with her anxiously, praying and hoping for the best.

Then finally... she did her business.

And just like that, the pain disappeared.

The relief was indescribable.

Cass emerged from the toilet smiling again, happy and pain-free. Her dream of going to Disneyland was back on track.

When we finally settled into our seats on the aircraft, we couldn't stop smiling. We felt so grateful and thanked God that the crisis had turned out to be nothing more than a very urgent need for a trip to the toilet!

The holiday went on as planned, and we had a wonderful time exploring Hong Kong — Disneyland, Ocean Park, Lamma Island, and many other places.

Looking back at this old photo today, I can still remember the fear, relief, and gratitude I felt that day.

Sometimes, the most memorable holidays begin with the biggest scares. ❤️

From Willing Models to Camera Dodgers

Back when my girls were younger, especially during their pre-teen years, they were my most willing models.

At that time, I was running an online store that sold everything from adult and children's clothing to toys and all sorts of goodies — almost like a mini Shopee before Lazada and Shopee even existed! I managed the business for 10 years while juggling my freelance content writing work.

Whenever new stocks of girls' dresses arrived, my daughters would happily model them for me. They loved dressing up, posing for photos, and being part of Mum's little business. Those were fun days.

Then they became teenagers.

Almost overnight, my enthusiastic little models turned into expert camera dodgers. The moment I whipped out my phone, they would disappear, turn away, cover their faces, or loudly protest, "Mum, no photos!"

And honestly, not much has changed even now.

My eldest will still occasionally allow me to take her photos. The other two? Not so much. Cass has a condition attached — I can post her photo only if I promise to cover her face with a sticker first! 😆

Sometimes I miss those days when they happily posed for me without complaints. And yes, I secretly wish they would enjoy taking photos with me again.

Well, perhaps one day they'll decide to humour their old mother and willingly pose for a few pictures. A mum can always hope. ❤️ 

Those Crazy Chinese School Years

Back when my three girls were in primary school, our dining table would be a complete mess during exam season—textbooks, past-year papers, my notes, their notes, stationery, calculators, snacks... everything piled together. It was a sure sign that exams were around the corner.

I would sit with them and revise Bahasa Malaysia and English. Before teaching them, I would first study their syllabus, Tatabahasa, grammar rules, and whatever else they needed to know. Then I would go through everything with them. I made sure they memorized their Tatabahasa, and along the way, my own Bahasa Malaysia improved tremendously too! 😄

Since all three attended a High Performance Chinese primary school, academic results were taken very seriously. Even though I didn't know Chinese, I tried my best to learn the basics from their Chinese tutor so I could at least ensure they revised what they needed to. Those years were not easy.

I wasn't the chill mum who was happy as long as her children scraped through. At the same time, I never demanded straight As. My main requirement was simple: pass Bahasa Malaysia and History, because these two subjects are compulsory passes for SPM.

Whenever exam season came around, I would get stressed too. As each daughter sat for her exams, I revised alongside her. With one of them, there was even a rotan sitting next to me! Back then, I firmly believed in the saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

Looking back, I'm incredibly grateful that all three girls survived Chinese primary school. The eldest and youngest went on to thrive in Chinese Independent High Schools, while the middle one did well in a national secondary school. All three eventually sat for their SPM and achieved respectable results—not straight As, but results they could be proud of.

I would Google free downloadable past year exam papers for my girls, made sure they did those papers, marked them, and go through their mistakes with them. It was hard work.

Today, one has graduated from university and is working, the second has two more years of university to go, and the youngest will be heading to university soon.

Sometimes I look back and wonder how I survived those crazy school years myself. As a "yellow banana" who couldn't read Chinese, I somehow managed to juggle working from home, cooking, school runs, housework, revision sessions, and disciplining three growing girls.

While I no longer have to do any of those things, I miss them dearly now that we live apart. I try to message them every day, just to check in and hear about what's happening in their lives. Their updates always brighten my day.

Different seasons, different roles. That's motherhood.

But one thing has never changed: my love for them, and the fact that I will always worry about them, every single day.  

Exam season eye sore at the dining table.

Cassandra's weekly ting xie list when she was in pre-school (6yo), which I wrote each word in hanyu pinyin along with the meaning and tested her several times before the ting xie.

Treats for them during the exam season.

My Dad’s Dangerous Mission for a Shopee Parcel 😆

Today my 83-year-old dad gave my mum and me quite a scare! 😅

Our neighbour and her family are away on holiday, and before leaving, she WhatsApped my mum to ask if we could help keep an eye on her parcels. Well… apparently she did quite a bit of online shopping before going away because almost every day we’ve been helping to receive parcels for them! 😂

This afternoon, after a heavy downpour, a Shopee delivery guy arrived with yet another parcel. Their gate was locked, so the delivery guy simply flung the parcel into their porch. He didn’t want to leave it outside on the pillar because he was worried someone might steal it.

My dad saw the parcel and immediately sprang into action. Before my mum and I knew it, he had dragged out a ladder and a heavy wooden high stool. His grand plan? To climb over the wall separating our porches to retrieve the parcel!

Mum panicked and shouted for me to help stop him. I ran downstairs and tried to reason with Dad, but stubborn and determined as always, he insisted on carrying out his “mission.” First, he lifted and threw the heavy stool over the wall. Then he climbed up the ladder from our side to get across.

The porch floor was still wet and slippery from the rain, so Mum and I were terrified he might fall. I held onto his hand tightly while he was climbing, but Dad yelled at me to let go because apparently I was “restricting his movement!” 🤣

Very slowly and carefully, he made it across to the neighbour’s porch, climbed down the stool, retrieved the parcel, and passed it back to me. Then he hauled the stool back over the wall, climbed back across, came down the ladder safely… and proudly completed his mission. 😅

Mission accomplished indeed — but not before giving Mum and me heart attacks in the process!

Honestly, imagine an 83-year-old man doing this! And I still can’t help wondering why our neighbour ordered so many things online knowing they’d be away for an entire week 😅 

Why I Love Flaxseed Meal

Every morning, I add a tablespoon of ground flaxseed meal into my decaf coffee. The flaxseed does not change the taste of my coffee and it has a subtle nutty flavor, which is very pleasant.

Flaxseeds may be tiny, but they are packed with goodness. They are rich in fibre, omega-3 fatty acids, plant protein, antioxidants and lignans — natural plant compounds that are especially beneficial for women’s health.

Because of their high fibre content, flaxseeds may help support digestion, improve bowel movements and keep you feeling fuller for longer. I prefer eating flaxseeds over oats as these seeds are lower in carbs and contain more nutrients. The omega-3s are known to support heart health and may help with cholesterol levels and inflammation. Many people also take flaxseed regularly to help with blood sugar balance and overall wellness.

I personally like using ground flaxseed meal because it is so easy to incorporate into daily meals and drinks. Besides coffee, you can also add it into oats, yoghurt, smoothies or even baking.

I’ve been buying my organic flaxseed meal from this Shopee seller and have been very happy with it. If you’d like to check it out, you can shop for it here:
Shopee flaxseed meal seller

Love Baked Into Every Meal

Today, Mum skipped her usual morning walk and spent almost the entire day in the kitchen — from morning right through the afternoon. And honestly, the kitchen smelled like pure comfort and love all day long.

First, she made me a double chocolate keto mug cake using coconut flour, an egg, unsweetened cocoa powder, and chocolate. She simply microwaved it for two minutes, and wow… it was absolutely delicious — rich, chocolatey, moist, and so delish.

Not long after that, she whipped up another mug cake — this time a coconut flour banana version, for herself. Again, just two minutes in the microwave, yet it turned out so soft, fluffy, and incredibly yummy. I still cannot get over how something so simple can taste that good.

In between all the baking experiments, Dad was busy cooking chickpeas in the pressure cooker — our plant protein for today and tomorrow. True to my parents’ generous nature, they even packed some chickpeas to share with the neighbours. Tomorrow, another batch will be cooked again.

Later in the day, Mum baked a loaf of wholemeal black sesame raisin bread in the bread maker. I had a slice for lunch.

For lunch, she used the dashi sachets that Alycia bought back from Japan to make a quick soup. She cooked gluten-free noodles and added roast pork and vegetables for a simple but comforting meal.

That’s my 80-year-old mum.

Even at her age, she still has such passion for cooking and baking. She genuinely loves making my favourite cakes and breads, always thinking about what the family enjoys eating. Sometimes I feel that food made by a mother carries something no bakery or restaurant can ever replicate — warmth, care, and love folded quietly into every bite.

My double chocolate keto chocolate mug cake - only 2 mins in the microwave oven

Keto cake using coconut flour, an egg, coconut oil, walnuts, and a squeeze of gula Melaka (optional).

Mum's coconut flour banana mug cake - only 2 mins in microwave oven.

Love these pressure-cooked chickpeas, seasoned with turmeric powder, curry leaves and some salt.

Bread is best eaten when it's still hot from the oven/breadmaker, on its own, without anything. Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside.

Strength Training At 53, With My 80-Year Old Mum

Mum and I have now completed 8 strength training classes at the gym. Each package comes with 10 lessons, and we’ve already decided to renew for another round.

Mum suffers from severe sciatica and pinched nerve pain. Every morning, when she first wakes up, the pain is at its worst. But despite the discomfort, she perseveres and pushes herself to attend our twice-weekly strength training sessions. On top of that, she has also started joining a group strength training class for seniors, which I happily accompany her to.

Our personal trainer has been incredibly patient and thoughtful, guiding Mum through exercises specifically targeted to help improve her sciatica and mobility.

As for me, I can feel myself getting stronger with every class and on every machine. Little by little, I’m improving. Strength training requires discipline, determination and consistency, but knowing that it can help delay age-related sarcopenia, weakness, aches and pains gives me even more motivation to keep going.

Growing older is inevitable, but becoming weak and fragile doesn’t have to be.

You can watch the video of our workout here >> https://www.facebook.com/reel/1886872391984061

The Days I Once Wished Away

Every day, my Google Photos on my laptop pops up memories from 1, 2, 3 years ago and beyond. Today, photos of my daughters from May 2020 appeared — right in the middle of the Covid lockdowns.

Looking at those photos made me a little emo. Back then, all I wished for was for the lockdowns to end quickly and for life to return to normal. When my girls were still in school, I also wished they would grow up faster because I was mentally and physically exhausted — juggling school runs, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and working from home all at once.

And now?

Now that we are apart — the girls mostly living in KL and all grown up (Alycia is 23, Sherilyn 21, and Cass 18), while I am here in Ipoh — I find myself missing those days dearly.

My shoulders may be lighter now, free from many of those responsibilities, but my heart still misses my girls. They each have their own lives, their own routines, and sometimes days pass without us hearing from one another.

But no matter the distance between us, I will always love them, worry about them, and pray that each of them will always be happy, healthy, safe, and well.

Cass when she was in Std 6 at KC2, attending online class.

Sherilyn in Form 3 @ SMKTD, attending online class.

Alycia had to attend school during the MCO / RMCO as it was her SPM year.

The Hidden Ingredient in Tea Bags

I love drinking tea — green tea, peppermint tea, Chinese tea, English tea… tea is part of my everyday life.

Most teas nowadays come in tea bag form, and honestly, it is so convenient. Just throw a bag into your mug, pour hot water, and sip throughout the day.

Several years ago, I discovered a hidden danger in many tea bags — microplastics.

Studies have found that some plastic tea bags can release around 11.6 billion microplastic particles and 3.1 billion nanoplastic particles into a single cup of hot tea. These tiny particles may enter our bodies and have been linked to inflammation, hormone disruption, gut issues and other potential long-term health concerns.

Because of this, I now cut open my tea bags and pour the tea leaves into a stainless steel tea strainer instead.

For green tea, I don’t even bother using a strainer anymore — I simply pour the tea leaves directly into my cup and drink up the leaves too! Extra fiber for me 😋

So the next time you drink tea, try not to brew using the tea bag itself. Get a good stainless steel tea strainer or buy loose tea leaves to brew your tea instead.

Happy tea drinking everyone 🍃☕

This is how I drink my tea from tea bags - pour the content into a stainless steel tea strainer and brew

My peppermint + blue pea flower tea

The Competitive Spirit That Skipped Me 😆

Both my eldest daughter, Alycia, and my middle daughter, Sherilyn, started ballet lessons when they were 4 years old. They're now 23 and 21.

Alycia disliked ballet from the very beginning and eventually stopped after a few years. She later moved on to kickboxing, Muay Thai and tennis instead — definitely more her style!

Sherilyn, on the other hand, continued ballet until she was about 10, when her interest slowly shifted towards contemporary dance, hip hop and street dancing. One dance class became two, then three… and now I think she attends almost half a dozen classes, including acrobatic dance. She funds the classes herself, from her part-time gigs. 

Her passion for dance is very much like Cass’s love for figure skating — intense, dedicated and completely self-driven.

Ironically, I was never into dancing when I was younger. Between dancing and gym or outdoor fitness activities, I would choose the latter anytime. Their dad is not exactly a competitive person either, which makes me wonder where both girls got this competitive streak from! 😂

Next month, Sherilyn will be flying to Singapore again for another international dance competition. Last year, her team won gold at another competition there, so they are very excited.

Sometimes I look at both Sherilyn and Cass — one competing in dance and the other in figure skating — and I still cannot figure out who they take after. Certainly not me! Lol.  

Alycia (6yo) & Sherilyn (4yo) in 2009.

My 3 angels, circa 2011

Sherilyn in 2025

Group Strength Training Class For Seniors

This morning, I accompanied Mum to a group strength training class for seniors at the gym. The class was from 8.30 - 9.30 a.m.

To our surprise, the class turned out to be incredibly lively thanks to Coach Faisal — a fun, energetic and slightly “crazy” instructor in the best possible way. He had everyone doing hilarious things like making gorilla sounds while breathing and lifting dumbbells. At one point, the whole class was chanting “Stay young, long life!” while swinging our weights.

Believe me, lifting heavy dumbbells while chanting, laughing and trying not to lose your breath is no easy task! But that was exactly his point — to get us breathing deeply, laughing more, staying happy and keeping active at the same time.

Although it was a class for senior citizens, everyone was surprisingly strong and flexible. Mum was the oldest in the class at 80 years old, while I was the second youngest at 53. Coach Faisal himself is the youngest at 51.

Mum and I thoroughly enjoyed the session. The gym was filled with laughter, noise and so much positive energy. Next on our list — Zumba classes!

You can watch the video here >>  https://www.facebook.com/reel/1393578992609638

Sometimes, They Don’t Need Money… Just Mum’s Advice

Today I got a call from one of my daughters. She said she wanted to talk. That immediately gave me a scare. 😅

Calls from my daughters are usually never good news — either they’re sick, got into some mishap or touble… or need money!

But this time, she needed my opinion on a difficult decision involving a relationship. We ended up talking for almost an hour and by the end of it, she finally found clarity and sounded so much happier.

Young people in relationships often face many emotional obstacles. So when your child is willing to open up, trust you and seek your advice, it really is a privilege as a parent — to guide them towards a decision that is healthier for their future and peace of mind.

On a totally unrelated note, here’s my dad’s homecooked food from yesterday for the 3 of us — stir-fried leek with roast pork, air-fried tempeh, his signature turmeric chicken, and pumpkin + chickpea soup with veggies. Simple home food but so comforting and yummy. ❤️

Low-Carb High Protein Breakfast

My simple, hearty breakfast today — pressure-cooked chickpeas with 2 eggs.

Mum soaked the chickpeas overnight, and this morning she pressure cooked them for 30 minutes until they turned soft and creamy. She added turmeric powder, homegrown curry leaves and a little salt for extra flavour and goodness.

This will probably be our main plant protein for the next few days. Honestly, cooking chickpeas is so easy with a pressure cooker — no fuss, nutritious and budget-friendly too.

Besides being an excellent source of plant protein, chickpeas also have many health benefits:

• Rich in fibre, which helps with digestion and keeps you full longer

• Helps stabilise blood sugar levels due to its low glycaemic index

• Good for heart health as it may help lower bad cholesterol

• Contains iron, folate and magnesium, which support energy production and overall health

• High in antioxidants that help reduce inflammation

• Supports gut health by feeding beneficial gut bacteria

• Helps with weight management because it is filling and satisfying

• Naturally low in saturated fat and contains no cholesterol

• A good source of complex carbohydrates for steady energy release

Simple food can be some of the healthiest and most comforting meals. 😊