The Girl Who Hated Tuition

My three daughters had the same Mandarin tutor, Ms. M, who came to our house every week from the time they were seven years old. She wasn't the strictest or most outstanding tutor academically, but she had something equally valuable—an incredible amount of patience. She was always respectful towards me and tried her best to accommodate whatever I requested. Over the years, she became part of our family's life for almost a decade.

Cass, however, was a different story.

She didn't dislike Ms. M but she simply hated tuition.

I made her attend Mandarin tuition throughout all six years of primary school because her Mandarin wasn't strong. Well, what could I expect when she was raised by two "yellow banana" parents? 😄 Looking back, I know those six years felt miserable for her.

My attempts didn't stop there. In Form 1, I enrolled her in BM tuition, but she resisted, always had ‘stomach ache’ on tuition days, and quit after a few months. In Form 2, I signed her up for online Add Math tuition. That lasted only a few months too before she stopped.

Cass hated tuition so much that she finally made me a promise. She told me, "I'll study on my own. I'll ask my teachers and classmates if I don't understand something. Just don't make me go for tuition anymore. I will prove to you that I will do well"

I decided to trust her.

From Form 2 until she completed her SPM, she had almost no tuition at all. She became an independent learner, had the courage to stay back after class to ask her teachers questions, and worked hard on her own. In the end, she did quite well in her SPM.

Today, for some reason, I suddenly thought of Ms. M.

I remembered the times Cass would grumble, complain, and sometimes even say very unkind things whenever she was given tuition homework. She even fell asleep on the table during tuition, not once, not twice, but every single time. Thinking back, I felt sorry that Ms. M had to put up with my difficult girl all those years.

So today, I sent Ms. M a message. I updated her on what Cass is doing now and thanked her for the patience, kindness and understanding she had shown Cass throughout those six years.

She was so happy to hear from me and was delighted to know how Cass is doing today.

Despite six years of listening to Cass protest about tuition and complain about the homework Ms. M gave her, I have always been grateful for Ms. M's patience and perseverance. Looking back, I believe those six years of Mandarin tuition gave Cass a solid enough foundation to survive the demanding Chinese Independent High School that she later attended. While she may not have appreciated it then, I know those lessons played a part in helping her get through those challenging school years.

Photo below - Ms M with my 3 girls in 2014. Alycia was 11, Sherilyn was 9 and Cass 6.

Cassandra's Orientation at University

Yesterday was Cass's first day of Orientation at Universiti Malaya.  She spent the whole day at the Dewan Tuanku Canselor, taking her first steps into this exciting new chapter of life.

Today will be an even longer day, with Orientation only ending at 10.30pm. The students have already received their class timetables all the way until next year.

I'm so excited for her, yet at the same time, I can't help but worry. I remember feeling exactly the same when she and her sisters started Primary 1 in a Chinese primary school (Kuen Cheng 2), doubting whether they can cope in a Chinese school. I worried again when Cass entered a Chinese Independent High School (Kuen Cheng High School), with the same doubts. Now, here I am, worrying all over again as she begins university. 

I suppose that's just what being a mum is. No matter how old our children become, a part of us will always worry about them.

My greatest wish is that Cass will be happy at UM, meet kind and genuine people, make wonderful friends, and enjoy every moment of this new journey.

Cass Starts University

 Finally, it's official!

Cass, my youngest daughter, finally received her Offer Letter from Universiti Malaya today—but not before giving me a little scare!

Earlier, she checked the UM application portal and the search result showed that her application was unsuccessful. My heart nearly skipped a beat. I asked her to check the Maya Portal (under UM) instead, as her application was made via this portal. After what felt like the longest hour ever, her Offer Letter finally appeared. What a huge relief for both of us!

From tomorrow onwards, life is going to get very busy for her. She has a stack of documents to print and prepare before her physical registration at UM this Saturday. Orientation follows on Monday and Tuesday, and official classes begin next Wednesday.

How time flies! It feels like only yesterday she finished SPM, and now she's about to begin a brand new chapter at university. Her long holiday since December is officially coming to an end.

From next week onwards, she'll be juggling university classes, her part-time figure skating coaching job, figure skating classes, training and rehearsals, and in August, she'll be competing in Skate Asia. It's going to be a hectic few months ahead.

As her mum, my only wish is simple—that she stays healthy, safe, and happy as she begins this exciting new journey. Work hard, enjoy every moment, and make lots of wonderful memories.

Congratulations, Cass! I'm so proud of you.

PS - in this photo, it was Cass's first day of Primary 1 at SJKC Kuen Cheng 2. Seated opposite her is Sherilyn.

The Long Nights of Motherhood, Perimenopause and Memories

I've been battling insomnia for the past one to two years. Darn perimenopause.

No matter how exhausted or sleepy I feel at night, falling asleep is still a challenge. Deep sleep is now elusive. And when I finally do drift off, I inevitably wake up sometime between 1am and 4am to pee. After that, I'm suddenly wide awake. Then comes the temptation to check my phone to see if any of my daughters have messaged me.

If I'm lucky, I manage to fall back asleep for another hour before my fur baby decides it's time for breakfast at 4.30 or 5.30am.

The result? I spend my days feeling like a zombie—headaches, low blood pressure, dizziness, and sometimes a stiff neck and aching shoulders. For the past couple of years, this has been my reality.

I can't wait to be fully menopausal, though knowing my luck, post-menopausal problems may simply become my new companion.

Still, no matter how miserable these sleepless nights feel, they pale in comparison to the long, cold nights I spent at Gleneagles Penang in May 2009.

More than 17 years ago, Cass, my live-in helper and I were practically living in the hospital for three weeks. Cass had undergone major surgery to correct Grade 3 kidney reflux, but complications arose and she had to be rushed into a second emergency surgery.

Those were some of the hardest weeks of my life.

Cass was only 13 months old. She was constantly in pain, frightened, cranky and clingy. Tubes seemed to be everywhere—drains, IV lines and an NG tube running through her tiny nostril. I watched her constantly, terrified she would pull out the tubes and make her suffering even worse.

Unfortunately, one day she did pull out the NG tube.

The nurses had to insert it again without local or general anaesthesia. The shock and distress on her little face is something I can still remember vividly today. No words can describe how broken my heart felt watching that procedure on my baby.

At night, I would sometimes climb into her tiny hospital cot, contorting my body into impossible positions just so I could hold her hands and stop her from tugging at the tubes while she slept.

On other nights, she would sleep on my hospital bed. Despite being only a toddler, she somehow managed to occupy the entire mattress, leaving me with no space except the foot of the bed, where I rested my head and tried to get whatever sleep I could.

By the end of those three weeks, I was severely sleep deprived. I fell sick during the stay in the hospital and needed antibiotics, and suffered from constant neck and shoulder pain.

But that's motherhood.

No motherhood journey is smooth sailing. We stumble through sleepless nights, hospital stays, worries, sacrifices, and countless moments when our hearts break a little for our children.

Today, Cass is 18. Her two sisters are adults too.

Sometimes, as I lie awake in the middle of the night, I remind myself that these perimenopause-induced sleepless nights are temporary. The difficult years of motherhood have already passed.

And if all goes according to plan, I have just four more years before  my two younger girls graduate from university and are fully launched into adulthood.

Then perhaps, after decades of interrupted sleep, worrying, caregiving and mothering, I might finally get a little taste of freedom.

 

From Online Classes to University Dreams

This picture of Cass attending an online Math class during the pandemic popped up in my Google Photos today. I can hardly believe it has been six years. She was in Primary 6 in this picture.

It was the height of the Covid pandemic, and we were all confined to our homes. Schooling was uncertain, and like many children, my girls were initially delighted that they didn't have to go to school. Instead, lessons moved online, and they attended virtual classes for more than a year.

While online learning worked well for some students, it wasn't easy for many others. There were countless distractions at home—online games, chatting with friends, taking naps, wandering off to do other things, or simply losing focus in front of a screen. I must admit that all three of my girls struggled with these temptations at one point or another.  I hated Roblox so much back then as Cass was always hooked on this online game. She could multi-task so well - shifting from online class to Roblox simultaneously. 

Cass, who is now 18, often tells me how much she disliked online classes. She found it difficult to concentrate and has since declared that she never wants to study online again, even if some universities still offer that option. She much prefers being physically present in a classroom.

The transition from Primary 6 to Form 1 was not an easy one for Cass. After being accepted into Kuen Cheng High School—a school that is not easy to get into—she suddenly told me that she did not want to study in an Independent Chinese High School. Respecting her wishes, I accepted an offer from her former feeder school, a national secondary school in our neighbourhood.

However, during the pandemic, things became even more challenging. For an entire month, Cass refused to attend her online classes. She kept to herself and ignored me, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not get through to her or understand what she was going through. As a mother, it was a worrying and frustrating period.

Then one day, she walked up to me and quietly said, "Mummy, I want to study at Kuen Cheng High School." I was overjoyed. I immediately contacted the school and had a lengthy discussion with the person in charge. By God's grace, everything worked out, and Cass was accepted back into the school. I made her promise that she would not change her mind again.

What happened next surprised me. The following year, she was awarded a full bursary by the school, covering her entire year's fees. Even more remarkably, the bursary was renewed year after year after fresh applications, and she remained a bursary recipient all the way until Form 5. Looking back, I believe it was God's provision and a reminder that sometimes our children simply need time to find the path that is right for them.

In less than a month, Cass will begin her Pre-U studies, and I couldn't be prouder that she has been accepted into this university. Looking back at all the challenges she has overcome—from the uncertainties of the pandemic to finding her own path in school—I am amazed by how much she has grown.

When "Good Enough" Is More Than Enough

 Cass used to suffer from monthly UTIs when she was a baby.

My gynecologist first detected a problem during my 16-week pregnancy scan. Her right kidney was dilated. Because of that finding, he arranged additional scans, 3D scans, and even an amniocentesis to investigate further.

When Cass was born, all her initial tests came back normal. There was no obvious obstruction in her urinary tract. We thought the worst was behind us.

We were wrong.

At just two months old, she had her first UTI. That marked the beginning of a long and exhausting journey that would span years. Endless tests, scans, hospital visits, and invasive procedures eventually confirmed that she had Grade 3 Vesicoureteral Reflux (Kidney Reflux), a condition where urine flows backward from the bladder toward the kidneys.

Almost every month, she suffered another UTI attack.

Those years were a nightmare. Every diaper change came with anxiety. I would sniff her dirty diapers constantly because a foul smell often meant bacteria were present in her urine. Before long, I had become an unwilling expert in urine cultures. I could recognize the names of different bacteria by heart, knew which antibiotics they were sensitive to, and spent countless hours reading medical journals, researching UTIs, and exploring natural remedies.

Yet despite all that effort, Cass still needed surgery at 13 months old to correct the reflux. And that surgery had complications, which led to another surgery.

The surgery helped, but it did not solve everything.

Even after more than a decade of follow-ups at HKL, numerous tests and invasive scans still could not clearly pinpoint the source of one remaining issue. We know there is still a problem somewhere, and our hope is to eventually identify and correct it so that Cass can live a completely normal life.

From my research online, I found out that D-Mannose is the best natural remedy to treat a UTI caused by E-Coli (not other bacteria, though). 17 years ago, D-Mannose was only available in the UK and I ordered this preventive/complimentary agent from England, which Cass took as a prophylactic measure until today.

Because of her condition, Cass is more susceptible to UTIs than most people. As a result, I became extremely protective of her.

When she was in Standard One, I was constantly at school. I made sure she drank enough water, went to the toilet regularly, and was doing well. I knew all her teachers and many of her friends. Even today, some of her primary school friends who later attended the same secondary school still recognize me. When I visited her school recently, several of them greeted me immediately.

I was that mother—the one who was always outside the classroom or sitting in the canteen, quietly keeping watch.

When Cass was 12, she suffered another UTI attack. Every time that happened, I would bring her to Dr. Eric, the pediatrician at Pantai Hospital Bangsar, the one doctor I trusted completely with her care since Cass was 2 months old. He understood her medical history and was always careful in selecting medications because he knew her kidneys were vulnerable. He never prescribed antibiotics carelessly.

Each serious UTI usually meant hospitalization, intravenous antibiotics, and a course of oral antibiotics afterwards.

Then came her SPM.

On the morning of her final paper in December last year, my phone rang at 5.30 a.m. I had already moved back to Ipoh.

The moment I heard her voice, my heart sank.

She was having another UTI attack.

I immediately told her to see a doctor and to hand the phone to me to speak with the doctor once she reached the clinic. I also told her something I truly meant:

"If you don't sit for the last paper, it's okay. Take care of your health first"

The final paper was Chinese, but her health mattered far more than any examination result.

Even if she received an F for the paper, I would have been completely at peace with it. UTIs are not something to take lightly, especially for someone with her medical history.

By God's grace, Cass managed to see the doctor, sit for her Chinese paper, and recover.

She didn't fail.

She scored a C+.

The only person who was unhappy with that result was Cass herself.

As for me?

I was delighted.

Her 7As were more than enough.

In truth, she has always been more than enough.

After everything she has endured since birth, academic results have never been the measure of her worth. As long as her health is stable, her kidneys are protected, and she is happy, that is all that truly matters to me.

That will always be enough. ❤️

Cass warded at Pantai Medical Centre for UTI (age 12) in 2020.

The Little Girl I Had to Learn to Let Go

Of my three daughters, I am closest to my youngest. Perhaps it is because of everything we have gone through together since the day she was born.

Because of her health issues, I was fiercely protective of her. I breastfed her until she was over three years old, and much of my life revolved around keeping her healthy. Back then, she suffered frequent urinary tract infections (UTIs), and my mission was simple: prevent another infection, protect her kidneys, and keep her safe from further damage.

As a result, she was sheltered and shielded far more than her sisters.

There were advantages to that, but there were drawbacks too.

When she reached puberty, she began to rebel. She wanted freedom. She wanted to do the things that "normal" girls could do without a worried mother hovering nearby. We clashed often. We travelled through some very rough terrain together as mother and daughter.

There were arguments. There were tears. There were moments neither of us is proud of. Yes, I hit her, and she pushed me back. There was even a period when we genuinely disliked each other. We seemed to be constantly at war.

But those difficult years are behind us now.

Today, we are back to being best friends again—no longer frenemies.

When she was younger, she used to call me her twin because we were so close. Eventually, I had to learn one of the hardest lessons of motherhood: letting go. I had to trust that I had done my best, pray for her safety and good health, and allow her to spread her wings and explore the world on her own terms.

Even now that we live apart, I still check in on her every day.

As I look back, some of my favourite memories are the little things.

We used to write sweet notes to each other. I would tuck handwritten messages into her lunch box. She would leave cute thank-you notes for the meals I cooked. Out of my three daughters, she was probably my biggest cheerleader in the kitchen. Every new recipe I made was enthusiastically sampled and reviewed by her with 5 stars.

When I was physically exhausted and mentally drained from juggling work, family, and caregiving, she would create little coupon booklets for me. They included free massages and discounted massages—her version of a professional loyalty programme 😅

And honestly, her massages were surprisingly good.

I was forever begging her to massage my aching shoulders, neck, and head. She would usually agree—provided I let her play with my phone afterwards -- 30 mins of massage = 30 mins of phone playing 😅. Looking back now, those simple bargains between mother and daughter feel priceless.

Raising three girls was not easy. There were days when I was overwhelmed, exhausted, sleep-deprived, and functioning like a zombie. At the time, I often wondered how I would survive it all.

Yet when I think back on those years today, what I remember most are not the sleepless nights or the worries.

I remember the notes.

I remember the laughter.

I remember the little massage coupons.

I remember the little girl who followed me everywhere.

Sometimes I miss my girls when they were younger. I miss those crazy, hectic, chaotic years more than I ever thought I would.

Funny how the days that felt the longest somehow become the memories we cherish the most. 

Free massage coupon booklets that Cass used to give me lol

Cass filing my feet

This was a regular scene at my work table - Cass sitting next to me, doing her homework.

Cass's school (KC2) organized this feet washing event to honor mothers on Mother's Day. She was about 10.

Cass helping me to hang the laundry after my surgery in 2017.

My reminder note to Cass for her to bring back her lunch box and utensil.

Lunch for Cass & Sherilyn every Wednesday when they stayed back for CoCo. I would drop off the food in school.

Cass's love note to me, when she was about 7.

The Best Investment I Ever Made: Raising a Reader

Cass, my youngest daughter, wasn't an early reader. She only started recognizing words at around age five. I still remember her teacher telling her to eat more eggs so her memory would improve and she could recognize words more easily.

Perhaps she simply hadn't found the right books yet.

Everything changed when I introduced her to the novels of Geronimo Stilton, Enid Blyton, and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. It was as though those books were the missing puzzle piece her brain had been waiting for.

Almost overnight, she became a bookworm.

Wherever we went, there was always a book in her hand—at restaurants, hawker centres, in the car, on trains, while shopping, and even at school. Her favourite place on earth was the bookstore, and to this day, it still ranks second only to the skating rink.

By the age of ten, she was reading thick novels filled with tiny print. I remember she bought a huge Harry Potter book at a Big Bad Wolf sale. The book looked intimidating—massive, thick, and packed with pages of tiny words. Friends joked that she looked like a little lawyer because she was always carrying a hefty novel around while wearing her glasses.

By twelve, she had already moved on to novels written for adults.

I invested heavily in books for Cass and her two sisters. The three of them loved reading, and looking back, it was one of the best investments I ever made. I didn't just buy them books—I helped them fall in love with reading.

Cass later went on to participate in numerous essay-writing competitions throughout secondary school. Then came her SPM year. At the very last minute, she decided to sit for English Literature, an optional subject that wasn't even taught to students in her stream.

Determined to make it work, she approached her English teacher for guidance and borrowed notes from her van mate, who was her senior. He generously passed all his notes to her.

Thankfully, she took the leap.

She scored an A+ in English Literature.

I couldn't have been prouder.

Today, Cass still reads physical books. She treasures every one of them and absolutely forbids me from selling her collection. Those shelves of well-loved books are more than just paper and ink—they are reminders of a lifelong love affair with reading that began with finding the right story at the right time.

And that, to me, is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child. 📚❤️

She even hijacked my Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

A daily scene at the dining table - Cass's face was always hidden behind a book.

At the hair salon

In the train, otw to Ipoh

At a book store in Singapore

Her routine every day of her primary and high school life - enjoying her fruits and dessert after lunch, with a book in hand.

The Airport Scare Before Our Disneyland Dream

It was 6 December 2015 (10.5 yrs ago) — a day I will never forget.

We were at KLIA, just two hours away from boarding our flight to Hong Kong. The girls were excited, especially Cass, who was only seven years old and looking forward to visiting Disneyland.

Then, the moment we arrived at the airport, Cass complained of a terrible tummy ache. The pain was so intense that she had to squat down and couldn't walk.

My heart immediately sank.

Because of her history of recurring UTIs, which used to strike almost every month until her surgeries at 13 months old, all sorts of frightening thoughts ran through my mind. I was convinced that we would have to rush her to the hospital. I imagined Cass and I staying behind in Kuala Lumpur while her dad and two sisters flew on to Hong Kong without us.

Trying to stay calm, I quickly brought her to the toilet.

For the next half hour, I stood inside the cubicle with her anxiously, praying and hoping for the best.

Then finally... she did her business.

And just like that, the pain disappeared.

The relief was indescribable.

Cass emerged from the toilet smiling again, happy and pain-free. Her dream of going to Disneyland was back on track.

When we finally settled into our seats on the aircraft, we couldn't stop smiling. We felt so grateful and thanked God that the crisis had turned out to be nothing more than a very urgent need for a trip to the toilet!

The holiday went on as planned, and we had a wonderful time exploring Hong Kong — Disneyland, Ocean Park, Lamma Island, and many other places.

Looking back at this old photo today, I can still remember the fear, relief, and gratitude I felt that day.

Sometimes, the most memorable holidays begin with the biggest scares. ❤️

From Willing Models to Camera Dodgers

Back when my girls were younger, especially during their pre-teen years, they were my most willing models.

At that time, I was running an online store that sold everything from adult and children's clothing to toys and all sorts of goodies — almost like a mini Shopee before Lazada and Shopee even existed! I managed the business for 10 years while juggling my freelance content writing work.

Whenever new stocks of girls' dresses arrived, my daughters would happily model them for me. They loved dressing up, posing for photos, and being part of Mum's little business. Those were fun days.

Then they became teenagers.

Almost overnight, my enthusiastic little models turned into expert camera dodgers. The moment I whipped out my phone, they would disappear, turn away, cover their faces, or loudly protest, "Mum, no photos!"

And honestly, not much has changed even now.

My eldest will still occasionally allow me to take her photos. The other two? Not so much. Cass has a condition attached — I can post her photo only if I promise to cover her face with a sticker first! 😆

Sometimes I miss those days when they happily posed for me without complaints. And yes, I secretly wish they would enjoy taking photos with me again.

Well, perhaps one day they'll decide to humour their old mother and willingly pose for a few pictures. A mum can always hope. ❤️ 

The Competitive Spirit That Skipped Me 😆

Both my eldest daughter, Alycia, and my middle daughter, Sherilyn, started ballet lessons when they were 4 years old. They're now 23 and 21.

Alycia disliked ballet from the very beginning and eventually stopped after a few years. She later moved on to kickboxing, Muay Thai and tennis instead — definitely more her style!

Sherilyn, on the other hand, continued ballet until she was about 10, when her interest slowly shifted towards contemporary dance, hip hop and street dancing. One dance class became two, then three… and now I think she attends almost half a dozen classes, including acrobatic dance. She funds the classes herself, from her part-time gigs. 

Her passion for dance is very much like Cass’s love for figure skating — intense, dedicated and completely self-driven.

Ironically, I was never into dancing when I was younger. Between dancing and gym or outdoor fitness activities, I would choose the latter anytime. Their dad is not exactly a competitive person either, which makes me wonder where both girls got this competitive streak from! 😂

Next month, Sherilyn will be flying to Singapore again for another international dance competition. Last year, her team won gold at another competition there, so they are very excited.

Sometimes I look at both Sherilyn and Cass — one competing in dance and the other in figure skating — and I still cannot figure out who they take after. Certainly not me! Lol.  

Alycia (6yo) & Sherilyn (4yo) in 2009.

My 3 angels, circa 2011

Sherilyn in 2025

Grateful for Good Bosses and Happy Workplaces

My 3 daughters have all worked part-time at a cafe in our neighbourhood in KL. Sherilyn started there at 16, working weekends while studying, to partially fund her multiple dance classes. Then Alycia followed suit, though she has since stopped after starting her full-time job. Recently, Cass joined the team too.

I told Cass that she could stop once university starts in July, but she insists on keeping the job and works once or twice a week. The pay may not be fantastic, but the bosses treat their staff incredibly well. Meals are provided too, including the cafe’s own food, which is genuinely good.

What I appreciate most is how warmly the bosses treat their staff — like family. They organise annual dinners, outings and celebrations, and whenever the girls or I were unwell, they would send us cakes or bread. They are really kind and thoughtful people.

This was Cass’s breakfast today at work — waffles with fresh blueberries and bananas, plus a cup of latte. Quite a luxurious breakfast for staff! 😊

I’m truly thankful that my girls have always had good bosses and happy working experiences, even in part-time jobs. Hopefully, when the time comes for their full-time careers, they will continue to meet caring employers and good people along the way.

Distance Somehow Brought Us Closer

It’s funny how after living away from my daughters, I somehow became even closer to them — especially to Cass, my youngest.

Now, every time we meet, we have endless things to talk about, almost like two best friends catching up after not seeing each other for ages. Yesterday in KL, we talked non-stop, even sharing little secrets with each other.

One of the things she told me really amused and warmed my heart.

Cass shared that her youngest figure skating student is 17 years old. And her oldest students? A 48-year-old lady and another lady almost 40 — two friends who decided to learn figure skating together.

When they first saw how young Cass was, they actually asked her if she could handle teaching them. 😂

The 48-year-old lady even has a son who studied in the same high school as Cass and is the same age as her! Imagine having someone your son’s age coaching you in figure skating.

The 17-year-old student’s father was equally surprised to see such a young girl coaching his daughter. Even Cass’ own coach had asked whether she was comfortable teaching older students.

But true to her personality, Cass simply pulled the bull by its horns, stepped confidently into the role, and gradually earned all their trust and confidence.

Honestly, hearing stories like these from her makes me so happy. Beyond her skating skills, I think what touches me most is seeing her maturity, confidence, and ability to connect with people of all ages.

These little conversations with my daughters have become some of the moments I treasure most nowadays. ❤️

Cass in Standard 1 on the first day of school at Kuen Cheng 2 primary school. 
I can't believe she survived 11 years of Chinese schooling + 3 years of pre-school with compulsory Chinese subject, coming from a family with yellow banana parents💪

Today, I made a day trip to KL for my youngest daughter Cass’s SPM award ceremony. Proud mama moment? Absolutely. But the journey? Let’s just say the universe had jokes.

It started with a 5am train. I’ve never taken such an early train in my entire life. Waking up at 2.10am sounded like a terrible idea made by a sleep-deprived lunatic. But somehow, somehow, I got up effortlessly. My body clearly didn’t get the memo that it was supposed to protest.

Grab came at 4.10am (bless that driver’s soul). Reached the station at 4.30am. KL Sentral by 7.30am. Cass’s dad picked me up, we had breakfast in Brickfields, and made it to Kuen Cheng High School before 8am. Award ceremony ended at 11am.

And then—the moment. Cass walked up on stage. I had always envisioned this. And it actually happened. 

Lunch at Smith Breads & Café in Bukit Damansara. Bought sourdough breads to bring back to Ipoh because apparently I have no self-control around good carbs. Dropped Cass at 1 Utama for a friend meetup, then got sent back to KL Sentral for my 3pm train.

Reached Ipoh at 6pm. Walked into my room.

And screamed internally.

It looked like a tiny furry tornado named Haru had tried to break down the door. My cat, clearly convinced I had abandoned her forever (after only 14 hours), had attempted a dramatic escape. Claw marks and her broken nails all over the floor. Scattered things. Total havoc.

So now I’m asking myself: How on earth am I going to survive more day trips to KL to visit my girls in the future?

The answer, apparently, is: with a lock on my door and a very forgiving heart. 😂

Worth it though. Every bit.

You can watch the video here >> https://www.facebook.com/reel/26719294664418134

P/S: TQVM, mum for helping me feed Haru and entertain her for a bit.

Cassandra Turns 18 — A Sweet Celebration in Ipoh and Beyond

Cassandra turned 18 this year — such a special milestone for our youngest girl, and one that felt especially meaningful to celebrate as a family.

On 31st March, Cass took the ETS train from KL back to Ipoh right after collecting her SPM results. We were so happy she came to Ipoh straight away, and we celebrated her good results together on her very first evening back. It was the perfect way to begin a week filled with love and celebrations.

The next day, we had an early birthday celebration for her here in Ipoh with just the four of us — her grandparents and me. It was simple, cosy, and very heartwarming.

This year, Cass had a very specific birthday request: a Pochacco-themed birthday cake in pandan flavour. A week earlier, she sent me a photo of Pochacco, and we arranged to custom-make the cake at JJ Cakes & Swissrolls. The cake turned out adorable and delicious — exactly what she hoped for!

For dinner, she chose Western food, so we brought her to Hayloft. The food was wonderful, the atmosphere was relaxed, and it felt like such a meaningful little family celebration — just the way she likes it.

Her actual birthday fell on 9th April, and she celebrated again in KL with her dad, her sisters, and grandma at Butcher's Table. It makes me happy that she could celebrate with different parts of the family across a few days.

She also managed to celebrate with a friend at Sunway Pyramid after collecting her brand-new skating boots — which cost over RM5,000! A jaw-dropping price, but necessary as she progresses to higher levels in figure skating. She has worked incredibly hard for this step forward.

Another exciting milestone is that Cass has now started shadow-coaching, and very soon she’ll be able to coach beginners officially. Watching her grow in confidence and independence through skating has been such a proud journey for us as parents.

Looking back, it feels especially emotional to see her turn 18. She has come such a long, long way since her baby days, when she faced so many health challenges. Today, she stands strong, determined, and passionate about what she loves.

We are so proud of the young lady she is becoming. 💖

You can watch the video of the celebration on my Facebook page.

Cass Did It — A Proud Mum’s Day

Today I am a very proud mum.

After 17+ years of waiting for this day, Cass did it.

With zero tuition since Form 1 — because she chose to let me channel the tuition funds into her figure skating instead — and even having a UTI attack on the last day of SPM, and me moving back to Ipoh in the middle of her SPM exam, she still managed to do very well.

7As may not sound “perfect” to some people, but to me, it is more than good enough. Considering everything she has gone through — her existing congenital medical condition, studying without tuition support, balancing training and competitions, and still pushing through revision like everyone else — this achievement means so much more.

I am so proud of you, Cassandra. 💛

Tonight, we celebrate in Ipoh. 🎉

And after that… we look forward to the next step of your journey together. ✨

Cass the puzzle-crazed girl.

From Jigsaw Floors to Rubik’s Cubes: A Little Throwback to 2016

While scrolling through my Google Photos today, I stumbled upon a photo of Cass taken in February 2016. She was holding a Rubik’s cube, completely absorbed in it — and just like that, a flood of memories came rushing back.

Back then, both Alycia and Cass were crazy over the Rubik’s cube. Alycia’s high school teacher had encouraged the class to solve it during breaks, and she quickly got the hang of it. Within a short time, she could solve the entire cube in just a few minutes. Naturally, curious little Cass followed along. She was fascinated watching her sister and soon wanted one of her own.

From that point on, the cube went everywhere with her — waiting for me outside fitting rooms, sitting on trains, in the car, basically wherever we went. And somehow, she eventually mastered it too. She has always had a special gift for puzzles.

Even as a toddler, Cass was obsessed with jigsaw puzzles. At just two years old, she would sit on the floor completely immersed, piecing everything together with intense focus. I still remember moments when everyone was ready to head out, yet she remained glued to the floor, determined to finish her puzzle first.

Looking back at that photo, I realise how quickly time has flown. I miss that little puzzle-obsessed baby so much. Counting down the days — I’ll be seeing her again at the end of this month ❤️

December Routines, Exam Seasons & Little Joys on the Horizon

With four papers done and seven more to go, Cass is officially deep in the trenches of SPM 2025. Her exam marathon will only end on 23 December, which feels incredibly far away for both mother and child. Today was her Math paper, and tomorrow will be Moral—one of those subjects that somehow looks easy until you actually sit down to study it.

Watching her revise day and night brings back memories of my own SPM 35 years ago. Honestly, nothing I’ve studied since has ever come close to the pressure and intensity of that exam. Even the Human Resources Management Certificate course I took—fully sponsored by the bank I worked for—felt easier in comparison. Back then, I had to attend Saturday classes and squeeze in night study sessions after work, but it was still nothing like the all-consuming anticipation of sitting for SPM. There’s something about that one big national exam that just hits differently.

Meanwhile, Sherilyn had her own challenge this week—and she aced it once again. She and her team won another dance competition yesterday! What made this win even more meaningful was the fact that she wasn’t feeling well the day before. On Saturday, she asked me to take her to the clinic so she could get medication and recover quickly in time for the competition. True enough, she bounced back the next day, strong enough to perform and strong enough to win. Her determination never fails to amaze me.

Alycia, on the other hand, continues to live her 2025 in “travel mode.” Her travelling stars are shining brightly again after a year of hopping from one country to another. And now, there’s a chance she may be heading to Tokyo next month! Of course, this depends on whether her company approves her leave—and since she’s still on probation, she's keeping her fingers crossed. Still, it’s exciting to see her life filled with so many new adventures.

As for me, my little joy comes in the form of an overdue hometown escape. I’m looking forward to going back to Ipoh with my parents next week. They’ll be coming to KL to attend my MIL’s 80th birthday celebration, and the next day I’ll be heading back with them. I can’t wait. After missing Dong Zhi and Christmas with them for so many years, being able to celebrate together again feels like a blessing. I’m already imagining the warmth of home, familiar dishes, and simple family moments.

December may be hectic, stressful, and full of moving parts—but it’s also full of milestones, hopes, and the comforting promise of home.

The team clinched the champion title again in the contemporary dance category.

This photo popped up on my Google Photos today - taken exactly 10 years ago on 2 December 2015.  How did time pass SO quickly?!