In 4.5 months' time, Cass would start Primary 1 in her two che ches' school. This would mean that I will have to make a major decision that is life-changing for me. I am not ready to share what my new plan is yet. But after sleeping over this matter and thinking hard about it every day for over a year, I think I have come to a decision.
This is certainly not an easy decision but I have to settle my mind on it
so that I can prepare myself mentally now to walk towards that road when
the time comes in just 4.5 months' time.
Did I mention that I am one very fickle-minded person? I tend to sway in my decisions pretty easily. I have a problem making firm decisions. Thus, I always 'tai-chi' important decision-making matters to the hubs. He is one who is not as forward thinking as me or rather does not worry about things that are bound to happen down the road. He is one who lives in the moment vs. me who thinks too far ahead and worry too much. Hubs makes decisions pretty easily. He has the balls to take the bull by the horns vs. me who prefers to be in a real 'safe' environment. I am too lazy and have no time to fight fires and play matador. I have asked hubs' opinion on my decision many times and his answer has always been "up to you" -- which is his favorite line. He is one guy who lives by Nike's tagline of "Just Do It"!
Walking the new path would mean having to make some sacrifices. I am not sure if the new path is easier for me or has more stumbling blocks than my current path. I wouldn't know until the door is opened and I walk through it. If it looks jerky, I can always turn back and run out through the door and re-walk the old path. I am pretty resilient but just hate to test the deep sea water. Trying something new always seems daunting but these fears may be unfounded. I just need lots of guts, prayers and faith to walk the new path.