You see, my happiness for the past several weeks has been maneuvered by Cass' well-being. When she had a 2nd bout of UTI attack two Sundays ago, my world came crashing down like the world markets. When there was some improvement, i.e. pain eased a little, my happiness went up too. When the pain came back, my mood slid down in tandem. Though her pain level has been down to 0.1 / 10 since a week ago, I could still not let my guard down and rejoice just yet. As long as there is still a pain level of 0.0001 / 10 (yes she tells me that from time to time), something is still not right in the bladder.
I told the hubs and Cass that should she still have an iota of pain in her bladder by Monday next week, off we'll march to the pediatrician to check things out... which means that there will be a string of tedious tests from urine tests to ultrasound scan to even more invasive tests and most likely - the dreaded and much-avoided antibiotics.
I have been dutifully forcing my arse off the bed at 2am for the past 2 weeks to nurse Cass -- to carry her like a big sack of rice from the bedroom to the toilet for her to pee, feed her with some anti-UTI potion and to shower her with lots of TLC. My life has been on hold automatically. I had not much energy left to do anything else during the day as I would be in school several hours to check on Cass. When I'm home, I would be sleepy all the time from the lack of sleep and agonizing worry for Cass.
Quoted from my Facebook friend, Jac Sun Yoga's blog post today, which I find it to be so profound:
Caring is an art of the highest form because it is through caring for another human being that we express pure love.
It's exactly a week away from Chinese New Year. We will be traveling by ETS back to Ipoh to celebrate CNY with my beloved family members on the 2nd day of CNY. I pray that Cass will never have another bout of UTI attack. I never want to spend my CNY with Cass in the hospital again. We spent our CNY in the hospital 7 years ago before Cass had her surgery. She was barely one year old that year.
Here's a picture of the MIL's Water Narcissus. She brought it back from Hong Kong and has been showering it with lots of TLC. Tending to her pot of Water Narcissus is a yearly pre-CNY affair. From just 3 bulbs that resemble an arrow root tuber, stems are now growing. By Chinese New Year, flowers will be blooming too :)
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